Joy and Jaime de la Rosa…the wedding in photos and life as one big family

Joy and Jaime de la Rosa

…the wedding in photos and life as one big family

By Apolinario Villalobos

 

Four days after Jaime Bides and I surprised Jaime de la Rosa at his office in Tantangan, South Cotabato, we surprised him again at his residence, this time, to satisfy our curiosity about his second wife, Joy. During our first meeting, we were warned by Jaime that going to his home is not a joke as we would be gingerly stepping on narrow rice paddies. What he told me was true, as the narrow municipal road came to a dead-end, from which we had to cross a very short “bridge” and finally, trek over soft and moist rice paddies that led to a surprisingly beautiful mango grove, in the midst of which was the de la Rosa ancestral home.

 

But more surprised due to our unannounced visit was Jaime and his new wife, Joy, her parents and two children. Jaime was in the midst of “pasabwag”, a shorter way of planting rice, in which seeds were spread throughout the expanse of the wet fields, instead of having them germinated and replanted after the seedlings have reached a certain height.

 

The old house was practically surrounded with various flowering plants and fruit trees, such as bird of paradise, camia, ground orchids, mangoes, pomelo and coconut. The paradise-like nook was separated from the residential area of New Iloilo by rice fields.

 

I found out that as Jaime was working at the nearby town of Tantangan and while Joy had to do her rounds of direct selling, going home at night is a sacrifice as they had to light their way over the narrow rice paddies with a flashlight. And, more difficult it is when the trek is made under the heavy pelting rains. But, despite the difficulty, they still persisted.

 

Jaime de la Rosa confided that before his first wife died their children were already grown up and were given the liberty to be on their own. This liberal gesture made the children decide not to live in the ancestral house, leaving their father alone when their mother died. Fortunately, the paths of Jaime and Joy again met and as they had already established a close friendly relationship before, a wedding proposal was not a problem. The best part was when the family of Joy consented to live with them. Not long after then, Joy’s parents and children moved in together with another relative……Jaime, in no time, reaped the fruit of his “investment” – a brand new family, complete with parents!

Companionship and Marriage

Companionship and Marriage

By Apolinario Villalobos

 

“Marriage” for the Roman Catholic Church is founded on the principle surrounding the opposite sexes and this should be respected. Those who do not agree should join other religious communities that have a different belief, But for me, the ceremony is not even a guarantee that the relationship of heterosexual couple pledging, “till death do us part” could really last that long. In this regard, legal separation and divorce have been conceived. I believe that love is the essence of the lifetime companionship that applies even to those with same sex. Marriage is man-made and sometimes, even performed for convenience. On the other hand, commitment resulting from companionship with mutual respect and understanding, is naturally developed and gets “ripe” in time between partners, hence, become deeply-imbedded in their emotion.

 

If the Philippine government will not legalize “same- sex marriage”, the LGBT community should not feel dejected as the members can just go on living together…nobody can stop them from doing so. Meanwhile, they have the choice to cover themselves with legal documents as regards their common properties and other expectations. It should be noted that even affluent heterosexual couples sign documents that stipulate conditions about their properties before their wedding ceremony. As regards their family that would include children later on, they can resort to adoption of blood relations, such as nephews or nieces, or even offspring of strangers, and this is where orphanages and state welfare agency, such as the Department of Social Welfare (DSW) come in.

 

Members of the LGBT community should open their mind to the hurting fact that not all nations understand their situation. This is the reason why same-sex couples resort to living in countries where their relationship is legally recognized. Fortunately, to date, many Filipinos recognize same-sex relationship that gave rise to many Christian Churches in the country, and which are extending utmost compassion and understanding to it.

 

Ceremony that would bind the relationship may still be performed to formalize the commitments of the same- sex couple, but should not include or imply anything that got to do with that of the traditional Roman Catholic Church’s, though, the Universal Lord may still be invoked, as witness.

 

Finally, for couples, respect to each other is most vital for a lasting relationship….love is born out of respect. LUST manifests the absence of such.