Accepting a Loss and Moving On

Accepting a Loss and Moving On

By Apolinario Villalobos


Man by nature has the habit of keeping valuables, be they materials or loved ones.

They become investments in life that need to be taken care of and well-guarded. Earned money could provide support in times of distress and comfort upon retirement. It is for this reason that some work so hard “while the iron is hot”, as a popular adage says. For the wise, every opportunity is seized.


On the other hand, some people oftentimes become over- possessive of their friends whom they have gathered to become part of their lives, more so with their families whom they have painstakingly raised through difficulties. Friendship is not easy to develop because it involves patience in dealing with different characters. As with the family, one starts by living under one roof with a partner by virtue of marriage or simple verbal arrangement. Broods are brought forth and the parents are not even sure if all of them will grow up to be good, therefore, effort to develop them well is exerted giving rise to close bonding among the members.  


So many expectations are the offshoot of all the exerted efforts in these investments in life so that unconsciously, a strong attachment to them has become deeply rooted. It becomes not easy to part with any of them. There is always that feeling of great loss. For how can one for instance, be not upset losing in a fire or flood, a house that took many years of saving to be acquired? Or how can one not be upset by the loss of a husband in a plane crash?


At first, there is a strong resistance to the acceptance of truth. But there is a need to understand that everything in this world is not permanent. Only by understanding this fact that one can let go of the valuable, though, how painful it may be.  It may take some time before the pain of loss will go away. The affected should not be overpowered by selfishness in his effort to accept the loss. Failure to go through this stage would mean sacrificing many things – erosion of his good relationship with others due to unconscious development of hate in him and failure on his part to give attention to his other loved ones. Most importantly, the failure to accept will hold him back from moving on.