To be “In” Socially as a Cover Up for Insecurities and Inadequacies

To be “In” Socially As Cover Up of

Insecurities and Inadequacies

By Apolinario Villalobos


The objective of some people in joining a social group is usually tinged with an effort to cover up their insecurities and inadequacies, as well as, the desire to flaunt unexpected success in life. Their effort to join an organization to boost their once timid personality is commendable but they should not use their identity with an organization to an overwhelming degree of arrogance which makes them social climbers.


Those who thirst for recognition may not even need to join any organization to earn it. They missed the fact that by being alone, only they will enjoy the recognition at the proper time and opportunity. On the other hand, if they are identified with an organization that might later prove to be questionable, they will eventually get a share of the stain, too.


I have met and talked to some people who joined the “Foundations” and “associations” sponsored by a politician because they were hoping that he could help them with their personal problems later on. They joined the “Foundations” and “associations” without knowing their objectives until they found out, albeit very late, that they were being used as conduits for ill-gotten funds from dubious transactions. At the end, their membership made them parties of the politician’s illegal acts. Until now, they are still being investigated.


And, here’s a story about a friend who tremendously improved his financial status because of hard-earned wage as a seafaring engineer. In due time, he was able to purchase a house in an exclusive subdivision in Tagaytay, aside from a Porsche sports car and a Benz van. In both, he has permanently stashed expensive golf sets which surprised me because he does not play golf. He also stuck stickers of La Salle, UP, Jaycees, and Rotary at the back windshield of the van, although, he has got nothing to do with them. He graduated from Cebu and not a member of any of the two organizations. I just smiled and pitied him, for he told me himself, how he struggled hard as an impoverished clerk/messenger while exerting much effort to finish his marine engineering course and capped it by passing the board. His multi-million home in Tagaytay is a mish-mash of furnishing, resulting to an overdone eclectic interior that grossly defies harmony. Such effort betrayed his inadequate social background.


Being a very good friend, I took the risk of pinching his ego by advising him to remove the stickers and golf sets from his van and just be his real self, adding that he should have more time with his family than with his seafaring buddies who enjoy rounds of beer on weekends. And, as I felt, too, that he wanted to be socially “in”, I advised him to join a religious group that is always involved in community outreach programs. He joined two groups but failed to find satisfaction so he left them. At the end, I just gave him the opportunity of joining me every time he is free during my rounds of RAS (random acts of sharing), that he found more fulfilling, as like me, he also identified himself with those whom we share simple blessings.