Simplifying Life with Love, Tempered with Respect

Simplifying Life with Love, Tempered by Respect

By Apolinario Villalobos

 

A positive life or rather, way of life is supposed to be ruled by just love and respect. Basically, we should love God, love life that He gave, and love others, be they within our family or strangers, as well as the so-called lesser creatures.  And, with love, comes respect. That is how life should be lived…supposedly.

 

But because of selfishness, life has been polarized. At one end are those who are exploited by others and at the other end, are those who exploit them. Life has become complicated because of the emergence of the mentioned evil desire.

 

If only we can simplify life with love tempered by respect, then, there will no longer be a desire for anything that is more than what we need. Selfishness is the reason why man is never satisfied. Man covets those that are not his. He even covets those that are not yet on hand.

 

Because life today is ruled by strength and money, man can no longer say that in order to survive, he can just run to the wilderness and harvest food, just like they do in the days of old. Today, living is simply a choice between simplicity but entails a lot of physical sacrifice, and complexity which calls for a lot of spiritual sacrifice. Simply put, it is either to live with hunger and needs, then die with a mouth agape with pain, or live in luxury, and die with a reluctant and heavy heart due to the amassed wealth that will be left behind.

 

But, since God gave man intelligence and free will, the choice is his. One encouraging fact, however, is about the seeping in of a need among many men and women, to reach out to Him, as they approach the threshold of their life. Unconsciously, there is a transformation in the way they live, leading to one of simplicity. Many are surprised about their loss of interest for socials, but veer their interest, instead, toward religious congregations. Some even start donating their wealth to worthy causes. If ever there is a need for socials, simple “ballroom dances” in multi-purpose halls are enough.

 

One only needs to look around to see this phenomenon – senior citizens smiling their way to their respective Church, with some donning work clothes on weekends to render volunteer service for community outreach projects, while others protect themselves with umbrellas on their way to depressed areas to conduct Bible studies. They all seem to shout to the world that they can still do something for the love of God and others despite their age. With their simple acts of living, they, indeed, are showing love and earning respect!

Respect for Time, Discipline, and Death

Respect for Time, Discipline and Death

By Apolinario Villalobos

 

Practically, everybody is familiar with the adage, “we cannot turn back the hands of time”. But still, many do not have a full understanding of what it means and its effect to our life. They may also appreciate such adage that serves as a reminder, but they are not serious about it.

 

Time is the most important factor that can affect life as the world is at its mercy. Regretting for the lost time is like crying over spilled milk or precious water. We may cry our eyes dry and punch our chest with clinched fist while uttering hundreds of mea culpa, but what have been spilled can no longer be recovered. We cry over lost opportunities because we were late for appointments. We lost a prospective job because we were late for the interview. We missed our flight because we did not wake up early, etc.

 

Anything that is not respected is disregarded or taken for granted, and that is what many people do to time most often. Many forgot that time is used to reckon our physical and mental development, how we fare as we trudge along the road of life, and in giving us a chance to change for the better. We always say, “…give me time” which simply means, “…give me a chance”.

 

Time is so much a part of our life that many people become uneasy if they do not glance at a watch every hour of the day. Everything that we do is controlled by time, from waking up until we go back to bed. Time controls our job, our meals, even our use of the toilet. We even use it to warn others about their misdoings by telling them, “how many times did I tell you….”. Even our pulse and heartbeat are timed to check if we are physically fit.

 

If time controls us, discipline compels us to abide by its ticking, such that husbands must be home before midnight, employees must be at their post at certain designated time, minors must be home not later than ten in the evening, meals should be taken at certain times of the day till evening, medicines should be taken at certain times, etc. Respect for time and utmost discipline cannot be separated as without the other, our life and the world will be in a topsy-turvy state.

 

We should also be thankful to the guy who discovered time and those who invented gadgets that we need to measure the extent of our life in this world. Time tells us when we should “depart” from this world, unless it is cut short by unexpected events resulting to what we call as as “untimely” death.

 

 

Too Much Familiarity Breeds Abuse Leading to Loss of Respect

TOO MUCH FAMILIARITY BREEDS ABUSE

LEADING TO LOSS OF RESPECT

By Apolinario Villalobos

 

If a person opens himself up with overconfidence, thereby, exposing his weaknesses, he is bound to be abused and disrespected. He should not expect understanding from ALL the people with whom he deals. In any community or group where a person circulates, detractors and covert enemies are always present who will not hesitate to grab every opportunity from the unguarded moments of the overconfident person.

 

This is the situation of the president Rodrigo Duterte and PNP Chief, Rolando de la Rosa. Their tough personality and honest character have no match to the traitor’s selfish and evil intention. This happened to Cesar of Rome and Jesus Christ….they are lessons to be learned.

 

Duterte and de la Rosa should at this time, distance themselves a little bit from their “trusted friends”. Duterte should remember that he is in the tumultuous arena of Philippine politics where players easily change color to suit their needs. On the other hand, the Manila guys that the two are dealing with as regards the checking of illegal drugs, are not dumb not to understand that they are being used. And, being toughened in their kind of enterprising job, these “wise” guys will definitely not allow this happen without earning clandestinely.

 

The too much camaraderie that Duterte and de la Rosa show to their supposedly trusted people is what the latter exploit to go on with their well-entrenched designs long before they (Duterte and de la Rosa) took office.

 

The “signs” that can be perceived as regards the abuse being committed against Duterte and de la Rosa are the continued proliferation of police shenanigans, using the “tokhang” as another alibi. Shamefully, the already known “hulidap” has assumed another name….”tokhang”. How can authorities deny this when the concerned agents of authority use dubious documents which for the ordinary victims look authentic?

 

To let the police feel that he is serious in his intentions, Duterte should stop mouthing his support to them, as it is already implied or understood. Emphasizing such “support” in speeches that he deliver, just emboldens the “bad eggs” in the ranks of the police. All he should do is just instruct them to do their best if they want to keep their job….and for the sake of the “good eggs”. Another best act that he can do is give instruction to de la Rosa to immediately fire the erring police. On the other hand, de la Rosa should act with dispatch.

 

 

Respetuhin at Bigyan ng Halaga ang Buhay

Respetuhin at Bigyan ng Halaga ang Buhay
Ni Apolinario Villalobos

May mga taong masabi lang na hindi sila napapag-iwanan ng kanilang kapwa ay nakikigaya, tulad ng pag-alaga ng hayop. Kung ang kapitbahay nila halimbawa ay may mamahaling lahi ng aso o pusa, bibili din sila kahit hindi naman talaga sila mahilig sa mga ito at walang alam sa pag-alaga. Ang nangyayari tuloy ay umaalingasaw sa sama ng amoy ang kanilang bakuran at nadadamay din ang mga kapitbahay dahil hindi napapaliguan ang mga alaga at hindi rin nalilinisan ang tirahan ng mga ito. Hindi rin napapakain sa tamang paraan, kaya kawawa ang mga asong may lahi na pinapakain ng tinik ng isda. Ang resulta: nagkakasakit ang mga hayop hanggang sa mamatay.

May kaibigan ako noon na ang gustong alagaan ay mga hindi pangkaraniwang hayop dahil gusto daw niyang mapag-usapan, kaya kahit mahal, nangungutang ng pambili. At dahil maliit lang din ang bakuran niya, nagsisiksikan ang mga hayop. Meron siyang dalawang sawa na ang isa ay kulay dilaw , at ang isa ay kulay puti. Meron din siyang dwarf na usa, giant na kuneho, unggoy na galing Cambodia na nang makawala ay nagdulot ng kaguluhan sa kalye nila, baby crocodile na pinagkasya sa isang batya, talking mynah na galing sa Palawan, tarsier galing sa Bohol na hindi ko alam kung paano niyang naipuslit, dalawang iguana na nakalagay sa kristal na kulungan, at ang pinakahuli ay maliit na king cobra na nabili daw niya sa Bulacan. Sa kayabangan, at dahil pinag-usapan nga ng mga kapitbahay, isinumbong siya sa ahensiya ng gobyerno na may kinalaman sa pagprotekta ng mga hayop lalo na ang mga hindi pangkaraniwan. Nang hulihin siya at makulong ng ilang buwan at pinagmulta pa ng malaking halaga, ay lalo pa siyang pinag-usapan…nakamit rin niya ang pangarap na katanyagan!

May kumare ako na akala ko ay mahilig sa mga tanim, subali’t gumagaya lang pala sa mga kaibigan na mahilig dito. Dahil ayaw patalbog, kung anu-anong orchids ang binibili, na hindi naman alam ang pangalan….basta orchids, okey na sa kanya. Sa umpisa lang malusog ang mga pinamili, dahil kinalaunan ay nagkakalantaan…. kung hindi nao-overdose sa “gamot” na hinahalo sa tubig na pandilig, ay sa talagang “mainit” niyang mga kamay na hindi angkop sa pagtatanim. Yong isa pang mahilig manggaya, halos punuin ang kanyang bakuran ng mga tanim para lang masabi ng mga kaibigan niya na mahilig siya sa nature…kinopya lang pala ang bakuran ng kaibigan na nakatira sa Tagaytay, kaya kung anu-anong mamahaling tanim ang pinagbibili. Subalit dahil talagang walang hilig sa tanim, halos walang natira sa mga tanim na kalaunan ay isa-isang nalanta…pati mga anak kasi ay tamad ding magdilig.

Dapat isaalang-alang na ang mga hayop at tanim ay ginawa din ng Diyos – at binigyan ng buhay. Hindi man sila nagsasalita, mayroon naman silang pakiramdam, kaya nasasaktan at nagdurusa. Tulad ng tao, may karapatan din silang bigyang halaga, dahil kung hindi natin gagawin ito, para na rin nating binalewala ang ginawa ng Diyos na pagbigay ng buhay sa kanila. Hindi natin sila dapat isangkalang para ipagyabang ang ating kapritso. Kung hindi kayang mag-alaga, maging tapat sa ganitong kakulangan.

Ang pagrespeto sa buhay ay lalong dapat gawin sa tao. Kung hindi kayang mag-alaga ng maraming anak…dapat ay mag-family planning….ganoon lang! Kalabisan nang banggitin ang ginagawa ng ibang mag-asawa na sa kagustuhang mairaos ang makamundong kalibugan ay nagkakaroon ng maraming anak na hindi nila kayang pakainin at alagaan upang lumaki ng maayos kaya naging suliranin ng pamahalaan at perhuwisyo ng lipunan.

Kailangan ding respetuhin ang kapwa na hindi gaanong nabiyayaan ng mga materyal na bagay kaya naghihikahos sa buhay. Hindi siguro ikagugutom ng isang may labis na biyaya kung makibahagi siya ng maliit na halaga o pagkain upang madugtungan ang buhay ng kanyang kapwa.

Huwag gayahin ang ibang tao na sa kagustuhang yumaman at makapagtampisaw sa kapangyarihan ay ginagawang legal ang ganitong layunin na gusto nilang maisakatuparan sa anumang paraan kaya pumapasok sa pulitika, na pinakamadaling paraan sa pamamagitan ng pagnakaw sa kaban ng bayan!

Tolerance should have limitations…that must be respected

Tolerance should have limitations

…that must be respected

By Apolinario Villalobos

There is nothing wrong with tolerance which even the people’s pope, Francis is practicing. It is important however, that we should recognize and respect its limitations or boundaries. We should always remember that our rights end where the rights of others begin. Tolerating the ways of others should not mean that they can go beyond the line beyond which others dwell on their own kind of rights.

It is important that religions should be tolerated and respected – not abused and ridiculed. The latest bombing of Charlie Hebdon in France is a clear manifestation of how some people can have the temerity to ridicule other people’s religion, this time, Islam. The bombed group even has the gall to justify their act by mentioning that the new pope had his share of ridicule, but the latter did not react. How can these people forget that human beings differ in degrees of tolerance? …or better, peoples belonging to different races differ from each other? Why can’t these French just ridicule their fellow French, for fun?

Most importantly, religion is such a sensitive issue deserving utmost respect. Its spirituality deserves the highest degree of esteem, as it deals with a person’s total being – his life and relationship to his Creator. And, nobody has the right to question such faith.

The Islamic State issue is more than annoying enough that it even disheartens some Muslims who go against the violent ways of the said movement. Comparing faiths at this time is uncalled for and can just worsen the heating up friction between the Christian and Islamic faiths. Groups of so-called “concerned intelligentsia” are nothing but hypocrites who cannot even discern the simple meaning of the “Golden Rule”.

Finally, the best act that one can do if he desires to go beyond boundaries of differences is by simply extending a hand beyond them for the sole purpose of helping.

Before we give instructions…first, we must be good followers

Before we can give instructions

…first, we must be good followers

By Apolinario Villalobos

We must first do the things that we want done to show that they are possible, before we can expect others to do the same. This is about the possibility of results that we expect. In short…do first to prove, then, give instructions or demand for similar results. For all those things, we should be patient.

This expectation, however, is situational. If we are the employer, we have all the right to be followed as our subordinate has no choice. To have some kind of good results based on our expectations, it is necessary to show our subordinates what should be done. On the other hand, in a situation where the parties are on equal footing, instructions should be given with subtleness or lightness, hence, co-equals are given the choice to follow or not.

Respect to the one who gives instruction is necessary. Without such in any situation, expect the futility of the effort, regardless of the good motive. If the leader, for instance is seen as indifferent or weak, expect the subordinates to ignore him as he turns his back, even leer at him. His voice becomes a cry in the wilderness. Others will then perceive the leader as inept or inefficient.

If the leader has not proven anything yet, he has no right to give instructions or expect results out of them. Along this line, the incompetent political leader who is already in place, vigorously peddles influence and buys support from the different levels of the government using people’s money, to ensure that he will have a clout. His act gives a wrong signal to his subordinates and peers who then think that they can do the same. Those “bought”, meanwhile, smile their way to the bank. The selfish motive of the leader has practically bred corruption!

Finally, corruption results from the ineptness of people who do not want to sweat out the good results of their effort. They let themselves be used by others or lick their ass, to gain influence and wealth.

Simplifying Life with Love, tempered by Respect

Simplifying Life with Love, Tempered by Respect

By Apolinario Villalobos

A positive life or rather, way of life should be ruled only by love and respect. Basically, we should love God, love life that He gave, and love others, be they within our family or strangers, as well as the so-called lesser creatures. And, with love, comes respect, and with respect comes endurance. That is how life should be lived…supposedly.

But because of selfishness, life has been polarized. At one end are those who are exploited by others and at the other end, are those who exploit others. Life has become complicated because of the emergence of the mentioned evil desire.

If only we can simplify life with love tempered by respect, then, there will no longer be a desire for anything that is more than what we need. Selfishness is the reason why man is never satisfied. Man covets those that are not his. He even covets those that are not yet on hand.

However, because life today is ruled by strength and money, man can no longer say that in order to survive, he can just run to the wilderness and harvest food, just like they do in the days of old. Today, living is simply a choice between simplicity but entails a lot of physical sacrifice, and complexity which calls for a lot of spiritual sacrifice. Simply put, it is either to live with hunger and needs, then die peacefully, or live in luxury, and die with a reluctant and heavy heart due to the amassed wealth that will be left behind.

But, since God gave man intelligence and free will, the choice is his. One encouraging fact, however, is about the seeping in of a need among many men and women, to reach out to Him, as they approach the threshold of their life. Unconsciously, there is a transformation in the way they live, leading to one of simplicity. Many are surprised about their loss of interest for socials, but veer their interest, instead, toward religious congregations. Some even start donating their wealth to worthy causes. If ever there is a need for socials, simple “ballroom dances” in multi-purpose halls are enough.

One only needs to look around to see this phenomenon – senior citizens smiling their way to their respective Church, with some donning work clothes on weekends to render volunteer service for community outreach projects, while others protect themselves with umbrellas on their way to depressed areas to conduct Bible studies. They all seem to shout to the world that they can still do something for the love of God and others despite their age. With their simple acts of living, indeed, they are oozing with love and respect for others, and though, without being solicited, earn some of these for themselves.

Pag-isipang Mabuti ang Pagreklamo

Pag-isipang Mabuti ang Pagreklamo

ni Apolinario Villalobos

 

May kasabihang “nasa Diyos ang awa…pero nasa tao ang gawa”. Dapat lang talaga. Hindi dapat palaging umasa sa Diyos para sa lahat ng bagay na ginagawa natin sa ibabaw ng mundo. Maraming pagsubok, subali’t hindi Niya tayo bibigyan nito na hindi natin kakayanin. Tulad na lamang ng kakapusan ng pera na siyang pangunahing pangangailangan, at maski nga totoo, ay may mga paraan upang mabawasan ang mga pahirap na dulot nito. At, may mga problema din na ang dahilan ay ang maling desisyon natin.

 

Tungkol na lang sa kahirapan sa paghanap ng trabaho maski pa may tinapos na kurso… unang-una, sino ba ang gumawa ng desisyong kumuha ng BS Tourism? …ng abogasya?…management courses?…at iba pang kurso na pinanloloko ng mga kolehiyo at unibersidad sa mga ambisyosong kabataan? Nae-engganyo ang mga kabataan at magulang sa imaheng sosyal ng ino-offer na mga kurso ng mga eskwelahang ito, kaya kinakagat nila. Sa bandang huli, kung walang makitang trabaho, kaliwa’t kanan na ang reklamo lalo na sa gobyerno, at dahil sa sisihan nila sa isa’t isa kung minsan, nagkakaroon na ng hindi pagkakaunawaan sa kanilang pamilya.

Sa mga jeepney at hindi aircon na mga bus, may mariring kung minsan na mga reklamong kesyo maalikabok, mainit at siksikan. Ang mga naiinis sa naririnig na reklamo ay hindi mapigilan ang sariling magparinig din sa mga reklamador. Nangyayari din ito sa LRT at MRT, lalo na sa mga bangketa ng Divisoria, Baclaran, Avenida, Quiapo, Cubato, etc., na nag-uumapaw sa mga mamimili. Kaya kung minsan, hindi maiwasan ang pagbabangayan. Yong mga reklamador kasi, ay kung bakit hindi na lang sumakay ng taxi, di kaya ay sa mga aircon na malls mag-shopping.

 

Meron ding idinadaan sa reklamo ang pagpapansin, palibhasa’y balikbayan halimbawa. Gustong mapansin ng iba ang “balikbayan look” nila, at para kumpleto ang epek, nagpapa-brown pa ng buhok…nagmumukha tuloy Badjao na bagong salta! Ang kaibahan lang ay nagsasalita ng English ang balikbayan, ang Badjao ay diretsong nangangalabit para humingi ng pera!

 

One time, sa isang mall, habang sakay ako ng escalator na animo pagong sa kabagalan, may narinig ako sa bandang ibabang baytang ng, “oh, these elevators OF THE PHILIPPINE STORES…moves like hell!”. Nang tingnan ko ang nagsalita, ako’y namangha sa aking nakitang halatang mga retokado…ilong na may bukol sa gitna para magmukhang matangos, hindi maintidihan kung naninilaw o namumutlang mga pisngi na iba ang kulay sa leeg at ibang bahagi ng katawan na kulay brown pa rin, halatang idrinowing na mga kilay, mahahabang pilik-mata, namumusargang mga labi (Sophia Loren look), kulay blue na mga mata, at blond na buhok…suot niya ay hapit na shirt na nagpapakita ng cleavage, pero may mga patches ang balat sa dibdib, parang an-an. Nang makatuntong na kami sa sahig, hinayaan kong mauna dahil baka murahin niya ako sa English. Naka-boots din pala siya. Ayon, napansin tuloy siya ng marami kaya na-analyze ng todo ang kanyang porma. Tinakpan ng isang lalaking sinusundan ko ang inaakbayan niyang babae…inisip ko na lang na asawa niya ang babae at naglilihi.

 

Minsan ra rin akong napahiya sa pagreklamo nang basta-basta. Sa isang pilahan sa bangkong pinuntahan ko, ilang beses akong siningitan. Nang hindi na ako makatiis, nagparinig ako, at siyempre, lumingon ang natumbok kong huling sumingit… hindi lang siya senior, kundi parang ang edad ay lampas otsenta na! Nginitian ako ni “mommy”…bungal siya, sabay sabi ng sorry dahil kailangan niyang bumalik agad sa ospital. Wala daw kasing kasama ang asawa niya. Magwi-withdraw lang daw sana siya ng pera na pambili ng gamot at pang-partial payment sa ospital. Kung nakamamatay ang hiya, siguradong naghingalo na ako noon. Dama ko ang pag-init ng aking mukha sa sobrang hiya. Kung siya ay isang beses nag-sori sa akin, ako ay naka-anim yata ng sori sa kanya. Gumawa tuloy ako ng paraan upang makiusap sa bank manager na asikasuhin agad si “mommy” dahil emergency ang pangangailangan, na pinagbigyan naman. Pinaalis siya sa pila, pinaupo habang inaayos ang withdrawal niya. Nagpang-abot kami sa labas ng bangko dahil hindi agad nakakuha ng taksi. Marahil ay iniwasan ng mga hangal na taxi driver na madalas nilang gawin sa mga senior citizen. Inihanap ko pa siya ng taxi at sinamahan sa ospital para makita ang asawa na halos buto’t balat na pala dahil sa bone cancer. Pain reliever ang gamot na binili namin sa botikang katapat ng ospital.

 

Kailangan ang isang masidhing pag-iisip bago mamutawi ang isang reklamo sa ating mga bibig. Kung maliit lang naman, maaari na sigurong palampasin ang isang bagay na irereklamo. Isa pa rin itong pagpapakita ng kababaan ng loob. Mahalaga ito, dahil hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay tayo ang nakakapansin ng mga bagay na nairereklamo. Maaaring may mapansin din ang ibang tao sa atin upang tayo ay ireklamo…at malaking bagay para sa atin kung hindi ito itutuloy dahil sa pakiusapan o pakikipagkompromiso. Pasok dito ang Golden Rule: huwag gawin sa iba ang ayaw mong gawin ng iba sa iyo.

 

The Senior Citizens (…a message to the youth)

The Senior Citizens

(…a message to the youth)

By Apolinario Villalobos

 

Never scorn or despise the senior citizens. Without them, there is no world fit for habitation. Without them, there would have been no bright guys running governments. Senior citizens are the seeds of humanity that brought forth different races that roam the earth. Senior citizens are what the youth have become –intelligent, ripened, seasoned, experienced, toughened, esteemed, honored, valued, appreciated, and many more.

 

The senior citizens toiled day and night to earn so that the youth in their care can eat decent meals and earn knowledge from prep schools, middle schools, colleges and universities. They sat it out all night when the youth in their care contacted diseases. They cried when the youth in their care succumbed to sickness and finally go to eternal sleep. The woman senior citizen carried what would become a child, for nine months which is  the fulfillment of her life as a mother. The elderly man, literally broke his back in carrying loads to earn an honest living for the growing youth in his care.

 

Never hate the senior citizens just because they break cups and plates due of trembling hands. Never call them useless creatures just because you feed them, after they have exhausted their savings to buy you nice clothes, gadgets and pay for your tuition. Never neglect their needs for medical attention, because for you, they can finally rest if their deterioration is hastened. You, the youth, are treading the road that leads to where they are now.

 

The senior citizens should be venerated. They deserve the same care that they once gave you as a growing youth. They should not be caricatured because of their wrinkled skin, stooped posture, bowed legs, gummy smile and chinky eyes due to dimming sight. They should not be shunned because of a typical smell, as they can no longer take a bath on their own.

 

The senior citizens should be loved the way they loved you since the first minute you saw the light of the world. They deserve it more than anything else…more than any weight of gold…more than the brightest sparkle of a diamond. They need to feel the warmth that they once wrapped your frail body.

 

You will become one, like them…ripened by time and toughened by trials.  They are you, years from now…