Ang Pagiging Tahimik at Mapagpaubaya Bilang Mga Lakas ng Pagkatao

Ang Pagiging Tahimik at Mapagpaubaya

Bilang Mga Lakas ng Pagkatao

(tungkol ito kay Dominador Barnachea)

ni Apolinario Villalobos

Ang pagiging tahimik at mapagpaubaya ay mahirap gawin, lalo na sa mundong ginagalawan natin mula pa man noong unang panahon na ang pangkalahatang kalakaran ay “matira ang matibay”. Ngayon ay may mga bagong kalakaran, ang “pakapalan ng apog” at “patapangan ng hiya”. Ang mga ito ay angkop na angkop sa mga opisyal ng gobyerno ng Pilipinas.

Subali’t may mga taong likas nang tahimik talaga dahil lumaki sa tahanang ganito ang patakaran, at ang kakambal ay ang pagiging mapagpaubaya, na ang resulta bandang huli, ay ang pagiging mapagpakumbaba. Ganyan ang ugali ng isa kong kaklase na ang bahagi ng buhay tungkol sa pagsikap niyang makaahon sa hirap ay naisulat ko na…si Dominador “Ming” Banachea.

Ang uri ng buhay ni Ming ay nararapat na ibahagi sa iba na maaaring hindi nakakaalam na mayroon din pala silang ganitong ugali. Kung baga, ang layunin ng pagsisiwalat na ito ay upang magamit magkaroon sila ng salamin, at bandang huli ay masabi nila na, “ginagawa ko rin pala, ang ginagawa niya”.

High school pa lang kami ay nakitaan na siya ng ugaling tahimik, nasa tabi lang, nagbabasa ng mga leksyon at gumagawa ng homework. Likas sa high school ang pagiging matuksuhin ng mga estudyante, kaya madalas ang away. Ako mismo ay nakadanas na makipag-away dahil sa panunukso sa akin, kaya gumaganti ako. May classmate kami noon na ang apelyido ay nakatuwaang i-conjugate sa Spanish ng isa pa naming classmate, kaya walang kaabug-abog na ang napikon ay sumugod sa salbaheng lumapastangan sa kanyang apelyido at sinapok ito sa harap ng aming teacher! Subalit si Ming, ni minsan ay hindi ko nakitang kumibo kahit siya ay may share din ng tukso.

Dahil sa kanyang pagiging tahimik, hindi tuloy nabigyan ng mga titser namin ng mga pagkakataon na maisali sa mga extra- curricular activities kaya ang inaasahan naming mataas na karangalang matatanggap niya pagdating ng graduation ay hindi natupad. Ganoon pa man, kasama pa rin siya sa top five.

Hanggang sa siya ay magkolehiyo pagkatapos niyang mamahinga ng dalawang taon pagka-graduate sa high school dahil sa kawalan ng pantustos, ang ugali niyang pagiging tahimik at mapagpaubaya ay dala niya. Subalit dahil nakitaan siya ng galing at talino ng unibersidad na pinasukan niya, nagkaroon siya ng partial scholarship at nabigyan ng trabaho na apat na oras at may katumbas na allowance na Php120 isang buwan. Ang allowance na ito ang nagamit niya sa mga pang-araw-araw na pangangailangan, hanggang siya ay makatapos ng kursong accountancy at tuluyang makapasa sa board at maging Certified Public Accountant (CPA).

Nagkaroon ng ibang kulay ang buhay niya nang sinunod niya ang payo ng isang kaibigan na sumali sa Toastmasters’ International, isang asosasyon na nagsasanay ng mga kasapi upang magkaroon ng tiwala sa sariling magsalita sa harap ng mga tao. Kahit palangiti na siya noon pa man, lalo niya itong “pinatingkad”, tuwing siya ay magkaroon ng pagkakataong magsalita sa mga okasyon. Sa kabila ng lahat, ang pagiging tahimik ay umiiral pa rin sa kanyang pagkatao, lalo na ang pagiging mapagpaubaya sa lahat ng pagkakataon. Hindi niya ipinipilit ang kanyang sarili sa mga pagkakataong alam niyang makakatulong siya sa iba kung siya ay magpaubaya na lamang. Mahirap gawin ito dahil ang tao ay likas na lumalaban kung ang nakataya ay pansariling kapakanan.

Dahil sa mga pagbabago sa kanyang buhay, nakapasok siya sa isang kumpanya kung saan ay nakatanggap siya ng malaking sahod at siya niyang ginamit na sangkalan upang lalo pang umangat ang kanyang buhay, hanggang siya ay matanggap ng isang kumpanya sa ibang bansa. Napatunayan ni Ming na totoo ang kasabihang: ang malalim na ilog ay tahimik habang umaagos nito.

Hindi lahat ng tao ay nakakaunawa na ang pag-iingay ng iba ay isang karapatan dahil kaya naman nilang patunayan ang kanilang kakayahan. Para sa ilan, kahit kayang patunayan ng isang taong maingay ang kakayahan niya, iiral pa rin sa paningin ang kayabangan. Kaya ang pinakamagandang gawin ay ipakita ang kakayahan sa gawa, hindi sa salita, at hayaang ang nakakakita ang maghusga. At ang pinakamahalaga, Diyos ang nagbigay sa atin ng mga kakayahan, at hindi Siya bulag para hindi makita kung ang ibinigay Niya ay ginagamit natin sa tamang paraan…hindi na kailangan pang mag-ingay at magyabang.

Sa isang banda, ang likas na ugali ng taong ayaw magpakumbaba dahil hindi niya nakasanayang magpaubaya, na lalong pinaigting pa ng pagiging masalita ay isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit magulo ang mundo. Karamihan ng mga tao sa mundo ay ayaw magpaubaya dahil para sa kanila, ito ay pagpapakita ng karuwagan at pagkatalo. Ito ang mga taong ayaw magpalamang, kahit ang ipinaglalaban nila ay hindi rin naman mabuti, kaya ang nangyayari ay nagpapakitaan sila ng masamang ugali o sa salitang kalye ay nagpapataasan ng ihi…nagtatapatan ng kasamaan.

Ito ang nangyayari sa bansang Pilipinas. Dahil may nag-umpisang mangurakot sa kaban ng bayan, pagdidiin ng iba, “siya lang ba?”, kaya sila ay nangurakot din. Ang kawawang Pilipino ay naiwang nakanganga dahil sa mga taong ayaw magpatalo sa kapwa kurakot, kaya nakikurakot din ng pinaghirapang pondo na nakalagak sa kaban ng bayan….animo mga buwitre na nagpapaligsahan sa paglapa ng katawan ng biktimang naghihingalo!

My Altruistic Classmate…story of Dominador Barnachea/NDTCBoys’70

My Altruistic Classmate

(…story of Dominador Barnachea/NDTCBoys’70)

By Apolinario Villalobos

Nowadays, the humanity drifts in the ocean of survival. The human instinct is dictated by self-preservation. However, unusual circumstances can cause the “hidden” trait in man that directs him to extend a hand to somebody in times of dire need. These circumstances make man forget his own interests which are overwhelmed by the needs of others.

Altruism is unselfishness. This is an endowment from God, albeit, manifested or put into practice by only a few as it entails a lot of sacrifice for the sake of others. It is embedded in our heart. On the other hand, its opposite, egotism, is embedded in the mind, swathed by reason. While altruism is instinctively manifested in times of need, egotism dawdles with hesitance due to choices provided by reason.

The current and so-called “people’s pope”, Francis has repeatedly made a call to practice this virtue, but uses “compassion” in sending across his message. Simply, he is calling for care, kindness, concern, sympathy, consideration for others. His call is timely, as it is only by being compassionate that we can have that utmost desire to share without hesitance – the real need of mankind at this time. In this regard, sharing can be done directly or indirectly, and also comes in different kinds or forms, such as money, food, clothing, or time.

When I was in high school, a classmate would conspicuously just sit in a corner during our breaks, read or do his assignments, while the rest of us wet our shirts with sweat doing shenanigans to the consternation even of our principal. The guy was bright and I even expected him to receive a medal during our graduation, but he did not. He excelled in Pilipino, Mathematics and History. He was also among the topnotch achievers in our NDEA evaluation tests. After graduation, I did not hear anything about him, while I struggled my way through college. During high school reunions, his name would be mentioned, and since nobody knew where he was and how he fared, he soon faded from our mind.

While checking my blogs one day, I was surprised to see a familiar name that preceded a comment on one of my blogs posted in our school’s alumni site. I found out that the guy was the one we had been looking for….Dominador Barnachea. The reason why we failed to trace him was that he used “Ming” as his first name, while we knew him during our high school days as “Ador” or “Dor”

He shared through private messages that after graduating from high school, he “rested” for two years, so that his younger siblings can have the chance to make use of their meager family finances through their high school studies. It also gave him the opportunity to take care of their ailing mother, adding that he also tended their farm until he was able to earn enough for his first year in college in Davao City. He seized the job opportunities offered by the city, so that in no time, he was able to land one, to further his college studies. He practically missed meals most of the time when short of cash, and walked his way to school, scrimping on his hard earned and meager wage until he was able to finally earn a degree in accountancy.

Steeled by challenges that he was able to hurdle, he was able to land a job that fitted his course. His mind was set on helping his family, and this determination cost him his love life as his long- time girlfriend left him. It was a devastating emotional experience according to him, but his family has been foremost in his mind.

After gaining experience, he applied for a job in the Middle East. While earning a much bigger wage that time, his hard work was still coupled with sacrifice, as he was sending practically all his wage to his family back home, leaving just enough for his Spartan subsistence. His sacrifice paid off as he was able to send several nephews and nieces through college, bought a simple condo and a house, and developed their farm.

He was not yet through his sacrifice, however, for today, he spends most of his time giving solace to distressed countrymen in the Middle East. He is their financial and spiritual counselor. His help is not limited in counsels, though, as most often he would shell out cash. He speaks in gatherings to share inspiring messages based mostly on his experience and also untiringly represents them as necessary in government consular offices.

His habit of walking his way to the office until today makes him fit, although, he confided that foremost in his mind is to save the fare, so that the stashed extra cash can be shared if problems may unexpectedly crop up in the homes of his extended family.

Evidently, Ming’s altruistic trait has become part of his system that he thinks and acts it…. practically, breathing it!