Pride Closes the Mind

Pride Closes the Mind

By Apolinario Villalobos



Some people think that accepting the mistake they made is humiliating. They also think that people who give them advice are intruding into their intellectual domain. Worse, these same people who are buoyed by money and intoxicated by success think that they are above the rest of humanity…and, they just cannot imagine themselves looking back or looking down to where they came from. Blame pride, arrogance, conceit.


Self-esteem should be maintained despite material gains. But it should not be tainted with

pride. Moving on is part of life and those who gain by dint of hard work should compose themselves as successes are gained along the way. Studies show that one reason why some successful people refuse to look back or cut off their relationship with former colleagues is their fear that the latter would ask for a share of what they gained. These people not only refuse to look back but they also close their mind.


Those blinded with pride may not only move on, but up – climbing the ladder of society to find a new environment where they can move with ease, thanks to their new glittering trappings and money. Among newfound friends, they open themselves up. But since money is not everything in life and relationship with newfound friends is not deeply rooted, happiness is short-lived. As these people grow old they may realize that late parties, golfing with rich buddies, weekend jaunts to first class resorts, dinners in 5-star hotels, etc. have become boring. They start to long for childhood friends, relatives in barrios and slums. But they are ashamed to make a turnaround and trace back their steps to where they came from. And, since, they cannot bring along their wealth with them when they bid the world goodbye, their death could be lonely.


(I based this blog on the story of a couple who lives in an affluent village in Makati City, Philippines. Between the two, I could surmise that the wife should be blamed for their situation now. The wife is arrogant and obviously has the hand in all their affairs. Both of them came from Davao City where they also earned their bachelor’s degree from a prestigious Catholic educational institution in that city. They met in Manila while she was working as a secretary in a pharmaceutical firm and he was with a travel agency. After getting married, the wife resigned from her job and went into direct selling of beauty products which prospered. The husband also resigned from his job and joined his wife but expanded their line of products. They were blessed with 2 children. It was while they were enjoying the fruit of their hard work that they almost forgot about their families and friends back in Davao city. When at first, they were helping their respective family, later on they stopped, thinking that their families are milking them of their hard-earned money. Actually, the idea came from the wife who also said that those in Davao should also work hard like them (this bit of information was given to me by the husband, confidentially). In time, communication was cut off. Their two children are both in the United States now with their own families. With advancing age, he is 81 and she is 79, they are now full of regrets. I was referred to them by a friend as they want their “success”  story written down into a book. But I suggested to them that for their story to have a happy ending, they should swallow their pride and go back to Davao to mend the broken relationship with their families which they did. But whether they did it with sincerity or not, I can never tell.)

My Personal Perception of the Normal Body


By Apolinario Villalobos


The reason why our head where the brains are encased, is located about our emotional heart which is inside our chest and protected by the rib cage, is for our reason to overcome our emotion which oftentimes is fickle, unless we are psychologically and brain-sick or clinically crazy.


The eyes are the silent reflectors of our emotion. It can be silently fiery when we are angry or become the outlet of our tears when we are sad.


The nose is the exhaust of our chest as we breathe out sighs of grief and relief from our heart.


The lips verbally manifests what are in our head, be they good or bad. Through them, our emotions are given substance, shapes, and color.


The arms that can be folded from the elbow are for embracing others to make them comfortable and give them a feeling of security in time of their lowest ebb in life. The length of the arms gives us the opportunity to extend them to others so that we can pull them up when they fell down.


Our groin gives us signals that can activate our tools that enliven our sexual driven, and as originally intended, must not be abused. It our tool to continue what God has initiated – to bring forth another life into this world.


The legs that can be folded from the knee give us mobility even without the modern contraptions, so that we can be wherever we are needed, especially by our fellowmen. If God did not intend them to function that way, He could have just created us without them so that we can just be on our own, selfish, and oblivious of what are happening around us, rolling around our home….practically, an “island”.


The reason why we can fold our knees is for us to supplicate or kneel as we give thanks to the Lord for all that He has given us!


Finally, since God is fair, He left the secret of life right inside our body – the DNA that flows in our blood which is life in itself, and with an expectation that discoveries shall not be abused. Unfortunately, it did not happen because of man’s greed and desire to be another God!




Foods are for the Stomach, as Writings are for the Mind

Foods are for the Stomach

As writings are for the Mind

By Apolinario Villalobos


The foods can look appetizing by how they are presented, so are the writings that can be made attractive for reading by their title and first few lines. The writings are the poems and essays, and foods are appetizers, main dishes and desserts. While the print media, and today, the internet are the venue to showcase writings, outlets such as dining places and parties, are for the food.


Every country has its own specialties and distinct recipes or styles in cooking. So are the different nationalities that have their respective and distinct kind of literature, based on their culture. Honesty in presentation, though how seem simple they may be discerned, are on what the foods and writings are judged.


The intriguing simple dishes of a far away Asian country can elicit curiosity and admiration due to their exotic taste, just like the equally intriguing broken-lined poetry of young poets today.


Respect is what foods and writings should be given. They should not be altered based on the whims of others. Those who cannot take the taste of certain foods and intriguing literary style should prepare their own dish or come up with their own poems or essays.


Invented gadgets, contraptions, and machines can be altered and improved based on their progressing necessity. But dishes should remain as originally concocted and can just be made as basis for new ones by food enthusiasts. In the same manner that the different styles in writing poems and essays should remain as they are written by the author and those who have been inspired should come up with their own style of presenting the idea.


Based on the above, nobody should be timid in coming up with their own cookery, essay or poem. What they come up with, unconsciously reflect their personality, such that, simple people may come up with simple dishes and simply written poems, as well as, short essays. Those with complex character, on the other hand, may come up with equally complicated dishes due to various ingredients, as well as, poems and essays with difficult to discern messages.


What I mean here is: everybody can cook and write which are just two of the many expressions of life…our various reasons for living. Most importantly, while the styles in preparing foods and presenting ideas vary, their respective essence remains the same.

Ang Emotional Maturity o Kaganapan ng Damdamin ng Tao

Ang Emotional Maturity
O Kaganapan ng Damdamin ng Tao
Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Kung ang dunong at isip ay sa utak, ang damdamin naman ay sa puso. Ang damdamin mula sa puso ang nagpapalambot ng kung ano mang matigas na desisyon at pananaw ng isang tao. Ang nabanggit ang magsasabi kung anong klaseng pagkatao mayroon ang isang tao, na kalimitan ay sinasabing mabait, maunawain, mapagmahal, matulungin, atbp. – dahil puso ang pinairal. Subali’t kung ang desisyon ng utak ay pinagmatigasan ng isang tao, ibang pagkatao naman ang ipinapakita niya, subali’t damay pa rin ang puso, kaya may tinatawag kung minsan na “pusong bato” – walang damdamin, matigas. Hindi maaaring paghiwalayin ang tungkulin ng isip at damdamin dahil magkaagapay sila sa lahat ng pagkakataon.

Ang taong normal, na ibig sabihin ay walang diperensiya ang katawan, pag-iisip, at puso, ay may sinusunod na panahon upang marating ang kani-kanilang libel ng kaganapan o maturity. Inaasahang sa pagtuntong sa tamang panahon ng kaganapan, ang isang tao ay matatag na sa pagharap sa mga pagsubok ng buhay – hindi iyakin, malinaw ang mga desisyon, at malawak ang pang-unawa sa lahat ng bagay at kapwa-tao.

Subalit sa mga pagkakataon na sa murang gulang ay napasabak na sa pagharap sa mga pagsubok ang isang tao, mabilis ang pagkakaroon niya ng kaganapan ng damdamin. Dahil dito, may mga batang laki sa hirap na marunong nang gumawa ng mga malinaw na desisyon at ang damdamin ay umabot na sa libel ng kaganapan, kaya tinaguriang “isip- matanda”. May mga tao ring dahil lumaking spoiled sa magulang, kaya hindi nasanay sa pagharap sa mga pagsubok ay nagkaroon ng malamya o mahinang pagkakatao, kaya tinataguriang “isip-bata” at may “malambot na damdamin”.

Ang isa sa mga pagsubok ng buhay ay ang sitwasyon ng mga nagtatrabaho sa ibang bansa. Kahit ang isip nila ay umabot na sa kaganapan, subalit dahil sa hindi mapigilang bugso ng damdamin tuwing maalala ang pamilya, bumibigay ito at humahantong sa pag-iyak, pagkawala ng katinuan ng pag-iisip, at ang pinakamasaklap ay pagpapatiwakal. Ang isa pa ay ang sitwasyon ng isang “spoiled” na taong nag-asawa. Kahit may mga anak na ay nakasandal pa rin sa mga magulang na maya’t maya niyang hinihingan ng payo, dahil hindi siya nasanay na gumawa ng sariling desisyon kaya mahina ang damdamin. Ibig sabihin, kahit nasa hustong gulang na siya ay hindi pa rin siya emotionally- matured.

Kung sa relasyong magkapatid, ang isip ay “nakakatandang kapatid” ng damdamin o emosyon. Sa panahon ng “pagi-emote” ng isang tao, ang isip niya ang magsasabi kung siya ay tama o mali. Ito marahil ang dahilan kung bakit ang utak ng tao ay nasa ulo, bandang itaas ng katawan, at ang pusong nagpapadamdam ay nasa dibdib o kalagitnaan ng katawan…nangangahulugang mas mataas ang utak kaysa puso, kaya dapat lang na umiral kung kailangan. Sa kasamaang palad, may mga pagkakataon ding umiiral ang damdamin na nawawala sa ayos lalo na pagdating sa pag-ibig, na para bang sa magkapatiran, kung saan ang nakababata ay ayaw makinig sa nakatatanda, na umaabot sa “disgrasya” , kaya may tinatawag na mga batang babaeng “disgrasyada” – nabuntis ng wala sa panahon.

Dahil sa magandang dulot ng pag-iral ng isip sa damdamin, ang ginagawa ng mga nagtatrabaho sa ibang bansa halimbawa, ay iniisip na lang ang kapakanan ng kanilang mga anak na naiwan sa Pilipinas, na siyang dahilan kung bakit sila nagtitiis na mapalayo sa kanila. Sa ganitong paraan, ang anumang panghihina ng damdamin ay natatalo ng isip…isang uri ng ipinilit na maturity ng damdamin.

Sa pangkalahatan, ang mga nakakaapekto sa damdamin ng isang tao upang umabot ito sa kaganapan o maturity ay ang angkin niyang likas na talino, paraan ng magulang sa paghubog sa kanya, nilakhang pamilya, mga kasama sa tahanan, at ang kapaligiran ng nilakhang tahanan o ang komunidad. Ang mga nabanggit na salik o sanhing nabanggit ang makakapagdetermina sa aabuting libel o taas ng kaganapan ng isang tao.


By Apolinario Villalobos

The vastness of science of Psychology is such that it has practically covered all facets of man’s emotion. The science has tried to uncover the unexplained feelings which were generally classified before only as contrasting manifestations. The most popular among the subjects for discussion within the scope of Psychology are the phobias or fears of man. It is interesting to note however, that the “phobia” as a scientific term was used only since 1801.

Here are some of the common phobias to help you identify which apply to yours:

Acerophobia -sourness
Ailourophobia -cats
Akousticophobia -sound
Algophobia -pain
Altophobia -heights
Amatophobia -dust
Ancraophobia -wind
Androphobia -men
Anginophobia -narrowness
Anthropophobia -human beings
Antlophobia -flood
Apiphobia -bees
Arachnophobia -spiders
Astraphobia -lightning
Atelophobia -imperfection
Baciliphobia -microbes
Barophobia -gravitiy
Bathophobia -depth
Batophobia -walking
Batrachophobia -reptiles
Balonephobia -needles
Bibliophobia -books
Brontophobia -thunder
Carcinophobia -cancer
Cardiophobia -heart condition
Cheimatophobia -cold
Chaetophobia -hair
Chionophobia -snow
Chromophobia -color
Claustrophobia -enclosed places
Clinophobia -going to bed
Coprophobia -feces (human waste)
Cryophobia -frost, ice
Crystallophobia -crystals
Cynophobia -dogs
Demophobia -crowds
Demonophobia -demons
Dendrophobia -trees
Dikephobia -justice
Eisotrophobia -mirrors
Elektrophobia -electricity
Eleutherophobia -freedom
Enetephobia -pins
Entomophobia -insects
Eremitophobia -solitude, loneliness
Ergophobia -work
Gametophobia -marriage
Genophobia -sex
Graphophobia -writing
Gymnophobia -nudity
Gynophobia -women
Hedonophobia -pleasure
Hematophobia -blood
Hydrophobia -water (used also in rabies)
Hypeglaphobia -responsibility
Hypnophobia -sleep
Hypsophobia -high place
Ideophobia -ideas
Kakorraphiaphobia -failure
Katagelophobia -ridicule
Kinesophobia -motion
Koniphobia -dust
Logophobia -words
Metallophobia -metals
Musicophobia -music
Mysophobia -dirt
Necrophobia -corpses
Nelophobia -glass
Neophobia -anything new
Nephophobia -clouds
Nosophobia -disease
Nyctophobia -darkness
Ochophobia -vehicles
Odontophobia -teeth
Oikophobia -home
Olfactophobia -smell
Oneitrophobia -dreams
Ophiophobia -snakes
Ornithophobia -birds
Ouranophobia -heaven
Panphobia -everything
Parthenophobia -young girls
Pediculophobia -lice
Peniaphobia -poverty
Pharmacophobia -drugs
Phasmophobia -ghosts
Phonophobia -speaking aloud
Photophobia -strong light
Pogonophobia -beards
Pteronophobia -feathers
Satanophobia -satan
Sciophobia -shadows
Selaphobia -flashes
Siderophobia -stars
Sitophobia -food
Spermophobia -germs
Stygiophobia -hell
Tachophobia -speed
Teratophobia -monsters
Thaasophobia -sitting idle
Thalassophobia -sea
Thanatophobia -death
Thermophobia -heat
Tocophobia -childbirth
Toxiphobia -poison
Traumatophobia -wound or injury
Tremophobia -trembling
Trypanophobia -inoculation
Zoophobia -animals

Anglophobia -England or things English
Gallophobia -France or anything French
Germanophobia -Germany or anything German
Negrophobia -Negroes
Russophobia -Russia or anything Russian
Sinophobia -China or anything Chinese
Xenophobia or
zenophobia -foreigner

Look Up to the Sky to Calm a Perturbed Mind

Look Up to the Sky

to Calm a Perturbed Mind

by Apolinario Villalobos

When our head is heavy with

somber thoughts,

and our heart flutters

with unrestrained trepidation,

we become fazed and seemed helpless,

with only one comfort left – the sky’s vastness.

Looking up to the sky so vast

makes us realize,

that we got limitations

a humbling truth we must accept,

though, for the proud may not be easy,

for his arrogant heart has no place for humility.

The vast sky can calm the mind

perturbed, it may be –

tranquil floating clouds

that change hues against the blue,

seem to tell us that serenity can be had,

if we trust no other one, but the all-knowing God!