Failed Expectation should not Breed Disappointment

Failed Expectation

Should not Breed Disappointment

By Apolinario Villalobos

We should not expect so much if we do not want to get disappointment when we thought we have “failed” in our endeavour. If ever, we should always be prepared with even a bit of consolation to cushion the impact of emotional and psychological ache that may ensue. And, from there, we should pick up the pieces and move on.

We should accept the fact that we may not live up to our expectations in all the things that we do because of limitations, some of which we may not be aware of. It takes a stumble or more along the way for us to know that we have such limitations or handicap. And, such realizations should be treated as lessons to be learned. They should not put us down.

There are some people who thought that earlier along the way of their struggle, they have “failed” because they use the accomplishment of others as their gauge. We should never do that, because each one of us has a distinct capability, much different from others. Most often, too, later on, when we have succeeded in what we are doing, we think that we are “late bloomers”, which is wrong again. As we live, we strive. The corridor of life that we tread is full of challenges. If we stumble in one, it should be perceived as a lesson for improvement.

I know of a guy, who during his school days – from elementary up to college, he was perceived as just an average achiever. He got contented with a BS Commerce course that he finished with not so satisfactory grades. Later when he sought for jobs, he would pass screenings with a breeze that transferring from one job to better ones was easy for him. In so short a time, he became a senior manager in a big multi-national company. When time came for him to have an assistant with engineering skill, a supervisor from their affiliate company was seconded to him. On the day of their meeting, he found out that the guy assigned to assist him was their valedictorian in high school!

Consoling Thoughts for Self-Appeasement

Consoling   Thoughts   for   Self-Appeaseament

By    Apolinario   Villalobos

 

Man   by   nature   has   the   habit   of   blaming      something,   somebody,      even   God   for   any   mishap  and   disappointment     in   his    life,   but   never,  or      if    ever,   seldom    does    he     blame himself.       For   a   change,   perhaps,    after   a   misfortune   or   unfulfilled   expectation,   why    don’t    we   compare   our    situation   with   that    of    others    who   are   in   a   worse    predicament,     or    think    of    something    that   can    console   us?  

 

I  have   a   friend  whose   right   leg  was   cut  off   to   put   a   check   on   the   putrefying   effect   of   diabetes   in   that   limb   which   has   been   creeping   up his   body.   The   tragedy    started   with   a   simple   wound   on   his   toe.   Instead   of   sulking,   he    borrowed    money   and   started   a   small   business   selling   snacks    and   cigarettes   at   the   tricycle    terminal.   When   I talked    to   him,   he   was    wearing   a     big   smile   and   cracked   a    joke   about    his   situation.   Seriously,   he   told   me   that   he   sees   himself    as   luckier  than  some   of   our   friends    who   died    of    stroke    and    others    who   became   comatose.

 

During    one   of   my   visits    to   a   friend   in    Baseco    Compound ,   Tondo,   I   found   him   peeling   a    bagful    of      onions    to   get   rid   of   their   rotting    skin.    The    onions   were   given   to   him   by   a    Chinese   merchant   who   was   cleaning   his   warehouse      of    smuggled    vegetables    from   China.  His   wife   sells    the      skinned     onions    in   Divisoria    by   the   pile.   His   youngest    kid    was   sideswept   by   a   car   while   on   his    way   to   a   junkshop   to   sell   the   collected   bottles    and   plastic   materials   he   collected   from   the   nearby   dump,    the   day   before.   My   friend   did   not   blame   the    driver      or   his   son.   He   was      just   thankful   that   his  son   was   alive,   unlike   the   son   of   their   neighbor   who   died   outright   when   ran   over   by   a   dump truck.  

 

Another    friend   who,   at   the    most,      earns   two    hundred   pesos,   from   early   morning    until     late   night    from   peddling   cigarettes    and   candies,   never   regrets    their     not   having   other    necessities    in   life.    He   tells    me   that   he   is   lucky   for   having   a     loving    wife  who    tenderly      takes   care    of   their   only   daughter.    They   live   in   a   pushcart    whose    protection    from   rain   is   a   tarpaulin    salvaged    from   a   dump.   He   feels    luckier    than   those    without   even   a    pushcart   –   a  mobile   home,    as   they  got  no choice  but  sleep  on  the   cold   sidewalk   when    darkness    falls.

 

Two    close    friends    who    are   fighting   the   dreaded   cancer   are   not   blaming   anybody,   not   even   God.      Both      are   firmly    resolved   to   enjoy   life   to   their    last   breath,    though   one   of   them    calmly    waits   for   his    final    day    in   bed,    the   other     makes   up   for   lost   days    spent   to   earn    in   order    to   help   her   family.   One   mentioned   his   being    lucky   to   have   gone   this   far,   unlike   others    who   died   in   fatal   accidents,   which   did   not   give   them  a   chance   to   make  amends   for   mistakes   committed.   The   other   is   just   thankful    for   the   extra   days   for   her   to   enjoy   the   company   of   her   family   and friends,  and   of   course   the   big   leeway   to   prepare  for  her   final  day.

 

Meanwhile,    I   just    cannot   fathom    the   dissatisfaction   of   others   who,   despite    their    obvious    opulence   in  life,   still    consider    themselves   unfortunate.      They   are   not   satisfied   with   having    condo   units    and   a   house   in     an    exclusive   subdivision,   maintaining   fleet   of   cars,   jetsetting    to   Mediterranean   resorts    and    doing   shopping    sprees    in   key   cities   of   the   world,   and   worst,   having   amassed    wealth    at    the    expense    of    others.    Being   born   in   this    world    is   already   something   to   be   thankful    of,   unlike     developing   fetuses     in   the   womb   that   get    expelled   down    the   drain    by  a  single    “family   planning”   pill.

 

On    the    other    hand,    disappointment   may   be   avoided   if   we   remove   big   expectations    from   our   mind.     Unfortunately,     this   may   not   apply   in   the      corporate   world   because   of   the   periodic   sales   plans,   goal   and   objective   setting,   etc.,    achievement    of   which   becomes    the   gauge   for   job   performance.     Living   one’s    own   life   based    on    the    righteous    and    simple   rules    set   by   Him   is   very   much    different    from   the   corporate   life    whose    goal   is    based    on   material    gain. My   suggestions:   in   dealing business      with   others,  set   a   moderate    goal,    do   not   get    overwhelmed   with   greed,   and   if   nothing   comes   out   of   it    despite    exhaustive    effort,   console   yourself    with   the   thought,   that   the    deal    expanded    your   business   acumen;    and   in    living    our     other   life     with   others    based    on   righteous    rules,   we    must    do   our   best   in  avoiding     stepping   on   their   toes.    With    those ,    we   may   be   able    to   console   ourselves    with   the   thought   that   we  have   tried    our   best….at   least,   thus,   preventing   the   setting   in   of   regret   and   disappointment.