Ang Pagtanaw ng Utang na Loob

Ang Pagtanaw ng Utang na Loob

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

 

Likas na sa tao ang tumanaw ng utang na loob sa kapwang nakapag-abot ng tulong sa kanya. Ito ay naipapakita sa pamamagitan ng tulong din, salita, o sa kilos man lamang.  May mga tao namang nakatulong na ayaw tumanggap ng utang na loob kahi’t na sa anong paraan, at nagsasabi na lang na ipasa sa iba ang tulong na natanggap. May iba namang tumatanggap ng utang na loob lalo na’t  nakita nila kung paanong paghirapan ng mga natulungan nila ang makapagtanaw ng utang na loob sa abot ng kanilang makakaya. May iba namang natulungan na nga ay nagawa pang pintasan ang tulong na naibigay.

 

Sa kagustuhan ko minsan na makatulong  sa isang nanay na mag-isang bumubuhay ng kanyang mga anak, at madalas na maglabas ng sama ng loob dahil sa kahirapan ng buhay, naipamili ko sila ng pang-ulam na isda at gulay, pati bigas. Nang dalhin ko sa kanila ang mga napamili at nakita niya, sabi ng nanay, “ay, kuya, hindi kumakain ang mga bata ng isda dahil nalalansahan sila”. Kaya pala sila hirap, kahi’t kapos sa pera, pinipilit ng nanay na pagbigyan ang luho nila sa pagkain, kaya ang binibili niyang pang-ulam palagi ay karne ng manok at baboy, at ang gulay ay bihirang-bihira lamang, kung magkaroon man ay repolyo– yan ang sabi niya sa akin. Mabuti na lang at hindi tinanong ng nanay kung magkano ang bigas at baka mabisto na mumurahin lamang.

 

Hindi na ako nagtagal sa kanila, bitbit ang dalawang plastic bag, dumiretso ako sa bahay ng isang kaibigan na medyo nakakaangat sa buhay. Nang iabot ko ang mga plastic bag ng mga pinamili ko, abot-abot ang kanyang pasalamat. Ang kaibigan kong ito ay volunteer sa isang parokya at kadalasang nagmamaneho ng sasakyan ng pari kung may mga lakad ito. Kung sira ang kotse ng pari, kotse niya ang kanyang ginagamit.  Minsan na akong nakasama sa kanila nang puntahan namin ang isang naghihingalong matanda sa  kanyang barung-barong, sa tabi ng isang malaking ilog sa Pasay. Yong naunang nabanggit kong pamilya naman ay umaasa hanggang ngayon sa paabot-abot na tulong ng kanyang kapatid na nagtatrabaho sa Japan.

 

 

May isa namang pamilya na nagawan ko ng paraan upang may mahanap na malilipatan agad dahil pinapaalis na sila sa kanilang tirahan na pagmamay-ari ng isang masungit na landlord daw. Subali’t inamin naman ng mag-asawa na kaya sila pinaapaalis ay dahil delayed sila ng dalawang buwan sa pagbayad ng upa. Nakiusap ako sa isang kaibigan na may kaya ang pamilya at nagpapaupa ng mga apartment din, na  baka pwedeng ipagamit ang bago pa lang nabakanteng unit. Dahil kaibigan ko, hindi na ako nagdalawang salita dahil kinabukasan din ay nakalipat ang pamilyang pinaalis sa dating apartment. Para walang masabi ang kaibigan ko, ako na rin ang nagbigay ng dalawang buwang deposito. Makaraan ang mahigit isang taon, naringgan ko na ng reklamo ang kaibigan kong nalipatan ng pamilyang natulungan – madalas delayed ang upa. Nang pasyalan ko minsan ang nasabing pamilya, may nakita akong van na nakaparada sa tapat ng apartment, kanila pala. Pinatuloy nga ako subali’t naramdaman ko ang malamig na pakita sa akin- pinahalatang ayaw nila akong tumagal dahil hindi man lang nag-alok ng tubig o kape, ni hindi man lang ako pinaupo. Umalis na lang ako at nang magkita kami ng kaibigan kong may-ari ng apartment, sinabihan ko na lang na ayaw ko nang makialam sa kanyang desisyon.

 

Ang isang klasikong halimbawa ng hindi paniningil sa mga natulungan ay nang sabihin ni Hesukristo na ang pagmahal natin sa ating kapwa ay pakita na rin ng ating pagmamahal sa kanya. Hindi niya tahasang sinabi na may dapat tayong tanawing utang na loob sa kanya dahil ibinuwis niya ang kanyang buhay para sa atin. Ang isang pagmamahal na tinutukoy niya ay ang pagtulong natin sa ating kapwa.

 

Kung ang mga pipi ay nakakagawa  ng paraan para maipakita ang kanilang pasasalamat, tulad ng pagyuko man lamang, pagpapalipad ng halik patungo sa nakatulong, pagdampi ng mga daliri sa bibig, pagturo sa dibdib kung nasaan ang puso, at ang pagporma ng mga daliri upang maghugis puso, sabay turo sa tao na gusto nilang pasalamatan, tayo pa kaya na may kakayahang magsalita?

 

Bilang mga panghuling paalala:  hindi dahilan ang pagkalimot ng iba na magpaabot ng pasasalamat o magpakita nito sa anumang paraan, upang mawalan tayo ng ganang patuloy na tumulong sa ating kapwa sa abot ng ating makakaya, dahil hindi dapat magkaroon ng puwang ang pagtanaw ng utang na loob, sa ganitong pagkukusa. 

Want a Serene Life? Try These…

Want a Serene Life? Try These…

                                      By: Apolinario B. Villalobos

 

 

The following are suggestions. I practice them myself and I am living a peaceful life, perhaps, you may find them helpful, too.

Do not accumulate worldly materials beyond your need. Most people adhere to the notion that the more worldly materials they have in life the more they become secure. And for them, these accumulated materials manifest success in life, too. It is the reason why these people become compulsive buyers and collectors  of things that take their fancy – things that they can show off. Unknowingly, by doing so, they are developing some kind of fear of not having things that they want which further develops into insecurity, and worse, attachment to these worldly things making them reluctant to accept death knowing that they are leaving their accumulated wealth behind.

Do not play “God” to others. Some people try their best “to guide” others todo good. Unfortunately, they themselves are doing things the wrong way. It islike telling friends: follow what I say, but do not follow what I do.

Do not depend on someone or something for happiness. Some people attribute their happiness to their success in job, kind of family, friends, wealth, etc. As a result, when they lose their job, it is as if life has ended for them, or when their marriage has failed, for them the only way to end the misery is to commit suicide, or when close friends have left them, they felt there is nobody to run to when problems crop up, or when their savings have dwindled, they felt as if they have suddenly become poor. Just take things in stride.

Do not “mark” people. Do not ask others what province they came from, orwhat their jobs are, or where they live. Accept people as what they are.Purportedly, we ask people about their background so that we will know how to “adjust”  to their kind of personality. Unconsciously, however, the one reason why we do that is to make sure that we are better than them. It is when we have known their background that we begin to blame these for their faults.

Do not think that you can never do any good. Believe in what you can do. As you wake up in the morning, do not ever think that you are too tired to do things for the day or that you are not just in the mood to do some things for the day. If you develop the habit about negating your capabilities, such will stick to your personality, which can later on drag you down.

Do not attach your emotions to any worldly materials. Learn how to part with your “valuables” so that you will not be depressed when you share them with others. Console yourself with the thought that you have made a sacrifice to make others happy.

Do not be impressed by external beauty – the made up faces on magazine covers. Most importantly, do not compare how you look with these images. Each one of us is unique. Beauty emanates from inside of us and the impression depends on how we manifest them through our speech, actions, etc. Beauty can be equated with gracefulness and tactfulness. If one feels blessed or enlightened, tranquility is shown on his or her face and that is when beauty is manifested and impressed on others.

Talk to yourself. At least once a day, especially, before arising from bed, try to contemplate on what you have done the day before and evaluate them whether they were good or  bad. Did you hurt somebody’s feelings? Did you exploit somebody to your own advantage? Etc. As an exercise, face yourself in the mirror and talk to yourself. Scold yourself if you found that you have done something wrong. The best measure for this is the “Golden Rule”  which simply put, is your not wanting bad done to you, hence, you should not do something bad to others, too. If indeed you have wronged others, make amendsLet go…! Let go of whatever bad thoughts you have about others. Try replacing  these thoughts with the goodness that these “others” have done, not necessarily to you, but to others. You may go to the extent of presuming that they have done something good to others. It can’t hurt you.

Be contented… with the kind of friends you have. You may extend a helping hand in such a subtle way as to imply that they need to change their ways. Do not impose yourself on them for they will surely be turned off.

 Listen to your conscience. Man was created by God as an intelligent being, hence, with the ability to know what is good or bad. And, as our integral part, we have our conscience – our inner self that always tells us what is good for us. Unfortunately, our physical self always plays the villain. That is why, there exists the so-called “mind vs. body” struggle. With a simple vice as smoking for instance, our conscience tells us that it is bad but our physical craving tells us to go ahead. It is therefore, worthwhile to listen once in a while to what our conscience says, and discipline in this regard will determine, how far we can go.

Visualize. You can be what you want to be. As earlier mentioned, the impression that you give depends on what is going on in your mind. Visualize yourself as a “cool” person and you will surely have that smile in your face . Visualize yourself as a patient person and you can be one without much effort. Choose your kind of behavior.

Think of yourself as a positive person – a happy person, as if you are a kind of light from which emanates a radiance that floods your surrounding with happiness. Think of yourself as a radiance that touches others to give them warmth

 Share. We have been used to sharing material things – food, money, etc. which are tangible. But have you ever unselfishly shared ideas that in one way or another can help others? But remember not to impose when you share. In doing this, it should be on a “take it or leave it” basis

To be honest about it, I had second thoughts before deciding to put these “personal” guiding principles into writing to be shared with others.. with you. Take them or forget about them, anyway. At least I tried…