Benjamin Surbano: “Aguador” o Taga-igib sa Gulang na 61 Taon

Benjamin Surbano: “Aguador” o Taga-Igib sa Gulang na 61 Taon

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

 

Isang Linggo, mula Baseco (Tondo) ay naglakad uli ako papuntang Sta. Cruz. Binaybay ko ang kahabaan ng C.M. Recto Ave. at tulad ng nakaugalian ko, bago makarating ng Avenida ay kumanan na ako sa F. Torres upang magkape sa paborito kong kapihan sa isang bangketa. Noon ko natiyempuhan si Benjamin (Ben) Surbano na nagbababa ng konti-container na tubig para sa may-ari ng kapihan. Puting-puti na ang buhok ni Ben at inakala kong nasa gulang na siya na 70-pataas, lalo pa at ang kanyang mukha ay marami na ring gatla (wrinkles). Tinulungan ko siya sa ikalawang container dahil muntik na siyang matumba at nang makabawi ng lakas ay hinayaan ko nang ibaba niya ang ikatlo. Sa bawa’t container ay kumikita siya ng sampung piso para sa paghakot. At, nang araw na yon dahil Linggo ay iilan lang ang nagpaigib.

 

Buong linggo ang pag-igib ni Ben ng tubig para sa mga kostumer niya. Pagdating ng hapon ng Linggo ay umuuwi silang mag-asawa sa Baseco (Tondo). May tatlo silang anak na ang mga gulang ay mula 19 hanggang 12 taon, lahat ay nag-aaral, at nagdidiskarte na rin para kumita. Ang asawa naman ni Ben na si Mariel ay nagpa-parking ng mga sasakyan sa isang maikling bahagi ng Soler St., kanto ng F. Torres, na katapat ng mga tindahan ng mga pandekorasyon at pambahay na ilaw. Sa umaga ay nililinis ni Mariel ang bahaging yon ng kalye upang ipakita ang kanyang pagmamalasakit sa mga may puwesto. Kung walang nagpapa-park ng sasakyan ay nagtitiyagang magbenta si Mariel ng ilang pirasong gadgets tulad ng maliliit na ilaw na nabibili niya sa mga puwesto na rin pero may discount upang mapatungan pa niya ng tutubuin.

 

Ang isang bahagi ng sidewalk na pababang hagdan ng isang puwesto ay nagsisilbing tulugan ng mag-asawa sa gabi. Karton ang sinasahig nila sa semento at wala silang kulambo kundi iisang kumot.

 

Mayroong “sidecar” (maliit na traysikad) ang mag-asawa subalit ito ay ninakaw, apat na araw nang nakaraan. Nagising na lang daw sila na wala na ang “sidecar”. Ito sana ang dapat na ginagamit ni Ben sa pag-igib ng tubig upang hindi siya nahihirapan. Subalit dahil ninakaw, nagtitiyaga na lang siya sa hinihiram na kariton. Masuwerte kung hindi ginagamit ng may-ari ang kariton, dahil kung magkaganoon, ay hihintayin pa ni Ben na mabakante ito bago niya magamit at hindi niya alam kung anong oras sa buong maghapon kaya hindi tuloy siya nakakapag-igib ng maramihan. Nagulat ako nang sabihin ni Mariel na apat na beses na daw silang ninakawan ng “sidecar”, kaya ang mangyayari ay pag-iipunan na naman daw nila ng kung ilang taon bago makabili uli ng bago o second hand man lang.

 

Taga-Boac, Marinduque si Ben at 12 taong gulang pa lang daw siya nang makarating sa Maynila dahil sa kahirapan ng buhay sa probinsiya. Tulad ng iba pang galing sa probinsiya na nakipagsapalaran sa Maynila, nakitira din muna siya sa mga kamag-anak at dumiskarte upang kumita. Ang Baseco ay malapit sa Divisoria at basta pairalin lang ang tiyaga at kasipagan ay hindi magugutom ang isang tao, at ito ang nangyari kay Ben hanggang sa magka-pamilya. Upang maiba naman ang diskarte ay sinubukan nilang makipagsapalaran sa Sta. Cruz, kaya nauwi sa pagpa-parking ng sasakyan si Mariel at pag-iigib ng tubig si Ben. Tulad ni Ben, maliit lang din ang kinikita ni Mariel dahil umaasa lang siya sa kusang iaabot ng mga nagpapa-park, mula lima hanggang sampung piso, at pinakamalaki na ang dalawampung piso.

 

Sa kabila ng kahirapang pinagdadaanan ng mag-asawa upang kumita sa malinis na paraan ay hindi sila nakikitaan ng pagkabagot. Tulad ng ibang naging kaibigan ko na nasa parehong kalagayan, pinapahiwatig nila na ang mabuhay at magkaroon ng mga anak ay maituturing nang malaking utang na loob sa Maykapal na dapat ipagpasalamat.

 

Ang Isang Araw sa Buhay ni Duday

Ang Isang Araw sa Buhay ni Duday

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

 

Nabanggit ko na noon sa naunang blog kung paanong sa gulang na 9 na taon ay ipinuslit si Duday mula sa Negros, sa pamamagitan ng “pag-empake” sa kanya sa isang karton upang maisakay sa barko at hindi masita ang recruiter. Nabanggit ko rin noon kung paano siyang ikinulong sa kulungan ng asong pit bull ng malupit niyang amo dahil sa kawalan niya ng kaalaman sa mga makabagong gamit, ay nasira niya ang rice cooker. At, sa loob ng dalawang linggo ay nadanasan niyang kumain ng dog food dahil isang beses lang sa isang araw kung siya ay bigyan ng pagkain. Upang makumpleto ang maiikling yugto ng kanyang buhay ay binanggit ko rin kung paano siyang pinagpasa-pasahan ng iba’t ibang amo na parang isag gamit, at ang pinakasukdulan ng kanyang pagdurusa ay nang lokohin siya ng isang kaibigan na nagtangay ng pinaghirarapan niyang pera na mahigit sampung libong piso.

 

Ngayon, inaamin ni Duday na halos hindi na niya matandaan ang mga mukha ng mga kaanak sa Negros. Ganoon pa man, sa halip na ituon ang isip sa mga nakaraang problema ay pamilya niya ang kanyang pinagkakaabalahan ngayon kaya upang makatulong sa asawa ay tumanggap ng labada mula sa mga taong nagtiwala sa kanya (hindi ko nabanggit sa unang blog), hanggang sa maisipan niyang magbenta ng ulam at mga pagkaing bata (tsitseryang piso ang isang balot) sa tindahan niya nasa labas lang ng kanilang tirahan. Sa ganitong paraan ay hindi na niya naiiwan ang mga anak. Ang tindahan ni Duday ay “nakasandal” sa firewall ng gusaling may mga paupahang kuwarto, na pag-aari ng taong nagmagandang loob sa kanila na nagbigay ng libreng tirahan, at ang kapalit ay ang pagbantay nila sa nasabing gusali.

 

Apat ang anak ni Duday, may mga gulang na 9 hanggang 5 taon kaya upang makapamili sa palengke ng mga gagamitin sa tindahan, umaalis siya sa madaling araw, 4:00 AM,  upang pag-uwi niya bandang 5:30 AM, ay nakakapaghanda pa siya ng almusal ng kanyang mga anak. Kung minsan ay nakakatulong ang kanyang asawa sa pag-asikaso ng mga bata kung hindi pa ito nakakaalis ng bahay upang pumasok sa trabaho.

 

Pagkagaling sa palengke ay nililinis na muna niya at inihahanda ang mga iluluto. Paggising ng mga bata ay nakahanda na ang almusal na kape at tinapay lang naman. Habang kumakain ang mga bata ay ilalabas naman niya ang apat na mahahabang yerong luma at kalawangin upang isandal sa bubong bilang harang sa init at sikat ng araw lalo na sa tanghali hanggang hapon. Kung may palalambuting iluluto tulad ng butu-buto ng baka, ito ang una niyang isinasalang sa lutuang kahoy ang panggatong. Isusunod niya ang iba pang madaling iluto, pati na ang isasaing na bigas. Habang may nakasalang, ay ilalabas naman niya ang mga pagkaing bata upang isabit – ilang piraso lang naman.

 

Pagkalipas ng dalawa hanggang tatlong oras ay tapos na niyang iluto ang mga ulam kaya maaari nang i-display sa kanyang tindahan. Nananatiling bukas ang kanyang maliit na tindahan hanggang alas otso ng gabi upang makapagbenta man lang ng kape sa mga kapitbahay. Sa madaling salita, ang isang araw ni Duday ay nagsisimula sa madaling araw hanggang alas otso ng gabi. At sa “pagsara” niya ng tindahan ay hahakutin uli niya ang mahahabang yero sa loob ng compound upang hindi manakaw….mag-isa niya itong ginagawa kung wala ang kanyang asawa.

 

Ang tanong ko sa mga misis na reklamador sa kabila ng pagkakaroon ng mapagmahal na mister at masaganang daloy ng pera mula sa ATM tuwing araw ng suweldo niya….kaya ba ninyo ang ginagawa ni Duday? Kung hindi, mag-sorry kayo sa mister ninyong madalas ninyong awayin dahil sa madalas niyang pag-overtime o dahil hindi kayo naibili ng mamahaling alahas na ginto sa araw ng inyong bertdey!

 

Ang isa pang leksiyon sa kuwento ng buhay ni Duday…. magpasalamat tayo kahit sa katiting na biyaya lalo na ang pagkaroon ng magandang kalusugan upang ma-enjoy natin ang buhay sa mundo. Magpasalamat ang mga hindi niresetahan ng mga gamot para sa iba’t ibang sakit, at para sa “maintenance” ng kalusugan. Hindi ko na isa-suggest na mag-share ng pera ang may sobra-sobra nito dahil alam kong sasama lang ang loob nila at baka mag-comment lang ng, “bahala sila sa buhay nila”, kaya sasama naman ang loob ko.

 

At higit sa lahat……huwag humingi ng limpak-limpak na salapi kay Lord sa pamamagitan ng dasal at baka kung mainis Siya ay kidlat ang ipatama sa makukulit na mukhang pera habang nagdadasal sa loob ng mga katedral! Sa dami ng mga mukhang pera ngayong nagdadagsaan sa mga katedral upang humingi ng pera kay Lord, siguradong mawawasak ang mga katedral kapag sabay na tumama ang mga kidlat!

 

 

Dasal ng mga Kuntentong Tao

Dasal ng Mga Kuntentong   Tao

Ni   Apolinario   Villalobos

 

Lord, salamat sa lahat na ibinigay mong biyaya.

 

Ok na sa amin kung araw-araw,  ulam namin ay  tuyo

Naawa nga kami sa  ibang walang laman ang kaldero.

 

Ok na sa amin  kahit ang sinasaing ay NFA rice

Naawa nga kami  sa ibang araw-araw,  pagkai’y “memo-rice”.

 

Ok na sa amin ang sardinas, ginisa sa maraming miswa’t sibuyas

Naawa nga kami sa ibang araw-araw, gutom ang dinaranas.

 

Ok na sa amin, dinurog na kaning tutong na pinalambot

Naawa nga kami sa iba, sa sobrang gutom, noo’y napapakunot.

 

Ok na sa amin, pamatid -uhaw na tubig kahit walang yelo

Naawa nga kami sa ibang walang mainom,   nakatingin sa inudoro.

 

Ok na sa amin,  manipis na banig sa malamig na semento

Naawa nga kami sa  ibang animo’y  basang  sisiw sa ulan at bagyo.

 

Ok na sa amin,  celfon na luma kaya’t memory card ay wala

Naawa nga kami sa iba, maski lumang PLDT fone, di pa nakakita.

 

Ok na sa amin,  sapatos walang sintas, napulot sa tambakan

Naawa nga kami sa ibang walang saplot sa paa, kaya epot, naaapakan.

 

Ok na sa amin damit na pinaglumaan, kahit ba galing pa sa ukayan

Naawa nga kami sa iba, suot na t-shirt ay gulanit, animo galing sa digmaan.

 

Ok na sa amin maglakad paminsan-minsan, sa dyip walang pamasahe

Naawa nga kami sa iba, araw-araw na lang,  nagha-hiking sa kalye.

 

Ok na sa amin maski walang tv,  radio na lang, basta makarinig ng balita

Naawa nga kami sa iba,  sa kawalan nakangiti, dahil walang silbi ang mga tenga.

 

Ok na sa  aming makinood ng nakadispley na tv sa mall at mga tindahan  nito

Naawa nga kami sa iba, pakapa-kapa kung kumilos, walang maaninag sa mundo.

 

Ok na sa amin,  kulang ang bakod sa  bunganga, maraming nalagas na ngipin

Naawa nga kami sa iba, may kanser sa lalamunan, hindi makakain.

 

Ok na sa amin asawang bungangera, animo machine gun, boses sa umaga

Naawa  nga kami sa iba,  asawa’y walang alam iluto, nilagang itlog,sunog  pa.

 

Ok na sa amin,  asawang lasenggo ay sugarol pa, kung minsan may chicks  pa

Naawa nga kami sa iba, inuuwian lamang upang deposituhan ng semelya.

 

Lord, salamat uli sa  mga biyayang bigay  Mo

At sa  paminsan-minsang  pitik upang kami ay magising

Sa katotohanang, para sa Iyo kami ay pantay-pantay

Kaya walang dahilan para mag-astang aso’t pusang nag-aaway!

 

Yong ibang blessings, okey lang na sa iba Mo ibigay, Lord…

Amen!

Contentment in Life

Contentment in Life
By Apolinario Villalobos

Even what is good becomes bad when it is excessive. Food is good but could give us dyspepsia when we have taken much more than what our guts can take. Medicine when taken in overdose can be fatal. Even being overly religious can give us imbalance in sanity, making us believe that we have already become another God, even another Jesus.

Moderation is necessary. To be healthy, we must watch out for the calories of the food that we eat. We must read the direction on every label of medicine that we take, and follow the doctor’s prescription. We should not even oversleep even if this ultimate rest is necessary for the regeneration of some cells in our body. Even too much love to the point of being too passionate can tip the balance of our emotional lucidity and could be fatal.

To be reasonably moderate, it is necessary that we control our desire. To do these, we should let our mind prevail over our excessive emotion that is expressed in embarrassing actions that we fail to notice, putting us in unlikely situations most often. We become hysterical and unreasonable. All we know is that we have to let out what we feel. A typical manifestation of such this kind of uncontrolled emotion can be observed in concerts of bands where fans shout and gesticulate to show their “love” to their performing idols. Also, in confrontations, during which we let our pride prevail over reason.

During break ups of engaged couples or married ones, some of those who are greatly affected and could not just accept the unfortunate reality either cry their heart out, indulge in food trip binges, drown their sorrow in shots of alcoholic beverage, commit suicide, or kill their partner who brought them such pain. Blame too much love! The same thing happens when a dear love dies. Some of those who are left behind and who could not accept the departure, lose control of their senses even for years, forgetting that they still have other loved ones to be cared for.

For us to be reasonably moderate, we should accept the reality that every thing in ourselves and in this world has limitations. For the physical limitations, no two persons are exactly of the same make up, not even twins. One could perhaps take 3 cups of coffee and not feel dizzy, but another may be good for just 1 cup. One may comfortably gobble up 5 cups of rice, but another is comfortable with just 2 cups. One may consume one whole cake with a smile, but another one could be running to the toilet after finishing 3 slices of the sweet confection. All limitations are part of God’s design when He created the universe and every thing in it including us. That is why there is harmony.

Every thing has its use for the sake of harmony. Some of the creations that may be harmful to us people, are useful to other creatures. In a coral colony for instance, some of the corals are poisonous to humans but provide protection to small fishes. Animals in the jungle that we find dangerous such as lions and tigers are there to help check the overpopulation of their kind by making use of some of the wild creatures as food. As for the criminals that roam the dark streets, they become such to represent what is bad, to open the minds of others, hence, not emulate their acts. But these criminals have the chance to change their ways, that is why, man put up the correctional institutions.

Among God’s creatures, only man has the discipline because of his intelligence. As God’s design, this discipline is supposed to check his acts, tell him what is good and what is bad as his rational attribute is activated. That is why the head which encases the brains is on top of his body while the emotional heart is way down below but above the guts.
Discipline cannot be had if there is no contentment, the hidden force in ourselves that could spell harmonious life.

There are many things that we should be contented about. One is achievement in life. Some are not happy despite their having earned a degree. They still aspire to earn a master’s degree or a doctorate. But because of financial incapacity, this is impossible. This results to grumblings and self-pity. Some are not happy despite their having a loving wife and healthy children. They want more just like their neighbors who have cars and who go on regular out-of-the country vacations. But this is not possible because their salaries are just enough for the rent, food and education of the children. Some are not happy despite their having successfully guided their children to raise families of their own. At an advanced age, they still grumble.

For the blessings that God gave us, we must be thankful. If these blessings prosper, we should share them with others without expecting any payback. We must feel contented for these blessings, not ask for more because there are many out there who are waiting to be blessed, too. For anything that we do for the good of the community, we must do our best. By doing our best as street sweepers we are doing an important role for the cleanliness of our community. By doing our best as tricycle drivers, hence, careful in bringing our passengers to their desired destinations, we are ensuring safety on the street. By doing our job as cooks in restaurants, we satisfy our customers and make them happy. The execution of our role to the best we can is a manifestation of contentment.

The desire for more than what God gave us transforms us into demonic creatures. Those who desire for more money at all cost commit robbery and in case they work in the government, become corrupt. Those who desire for more power make use of bribery as a means. Those who desire for more honors and adulation, commit plagiarism. Those who desire for more aesthetic appearance than others ruin their body with excessive cosmetic surgeries and drugs.

Each role in life is a blessing from God. We should be contented with what we are, what we have and what we can do best for others. We should free our minds from the “should have been” qualms. What achievements others have but we failed to earn should not make us unhappy. Instead, we should be happy for them. We should learn how to be happy for others. There are reasons for every thing that happens in our life. Instead of asking God “why” every time we stumble on trials, we should be mumbling “ thank you, Lord!”. God will not let us face trials that we cannot overcome. He knows our limitations. We must remove the “self” from our mind and change it with His light so that we are assured of clarity in our decisions and actions as we live day by day. We should never let envy and pride hold us back. We should let the force of contentment push us on!

Giving Life a Twist to Forget Depression

Giving Life A Twist

To Forget Depression

By Apolinario Villalobos

Depression resulting from monotony in life can kill, literally. It can also result from misfortune brought about by loss of loved one, job, finances. We sometimes come across items in tabloids and broadsheets about people who commit suicide because of depression. Highly developed countries consider it as a disease. Well-earning professions have sprouted because of it. For third-world countries, however, it is merely equated to sadness, a feeling which is hoped to pass in time.

In the Philippines, few people go to Psychiatrists or Psychologists, who as doctors of the mind, are conceived to treat only the lunatics, this is aside from the hefty amount involved for every minute of consultation, much more for actual treatment. Those, however, who understand the real situation and can afford the sky-high fee of these professionals, never hesitate to run to them at just even a slight detection of signs of the mental illness.

For the ordinary Filipino, on the other hand, to check the downtrend of emotion is a simple rest, a new environment, or a new activity – something that will divert the focus of the mind from a misfortune. It is like adding a new condiment or spice to a dish to give it a twist, making it more palatable.

I have a friend who I met after two decades of interlude, and found him to have doubled in size. When I asked why, he simply told me that his family has had two deaths in a row in a year. I did not understand what he meant, until he told me that rather than wallow in sorrow, he diverted his attention to food. That’s my first lesson in how to fight depression. I thought, it’s better than drowning his sorrow over bottles of beer.

Another friend who was receiving six digits compensation as Finance Consultant has been vocal about his restlessness. He seemed not happy despite the big pay. Twelve years after, we met in a mall and found his already youngish face to have looked younger, and he was vibrant, no longer sporting a sullen look. He treated me to mugs of coffee and over them, he told me about his job – manager of a small dive “resort” in a far province. So, that is the reason for his glowing and healthy tan skin, as well as, slim athletic physique. As close friends, I did not hesitate to ask if he’s happy with the pay, to which he smilingly replied with a smile and an honest confession of a figure less than thirty thousand pesos, though with free accommodation and food for him and his family, which is a far cry from his former more than two hundred thousand pesos per month take home pay as Consultant in a well-known consultancy firm in Ayala.

Still another friend who used to work as a Vice-President of an Advertising firm now maintains a small vegetable stall somewhere in Pasay City, but he is happy waking up at three in the morning for a trip to Divisoria with his son to buy vegetables in bulk, and to be retailed in his stall at Pasay at seven, after which they would enjoy their simple breakfast ordered at a nearby carinderia.

I have other friends who have changed their direction in life before reaching retirement age or even beyond. Some even say that they took a risk, with the rest admitting that they did it deliberately. The common result however, is the contentment and happiness that they are now enjoying.

In my case, when I left the airline to which I owe so much gratitude, after twenty years, friends asked why. I told them that I wanted to try another field, that of writing which has been my passion ever since. Perhaps, that reason, they may understand, but there is one important passion that I could not share with them at first, as they will surely not understand…my reaching out to others who are less fortunate. This advocacy knows no time or day, so I will not be able to do it if I have a full time job. For the latter, I invested my sincerity as I know with all honesty that I am wanting, too – inadequate in finances like them. So, what extras I have, I share with them.

Resigning from my job for which some friends envied me, is a big twist that I gave my life. But since I was feeling the onset of depression which I knew would eventually affect my job, I had to do it. It did me good, as I was able to do many things afterward despite the meagerness of what was left after the government ate up a big chunk from my separation pay.

I made use of what I learned from my twenty years of stint with the airline, where I was able to hone my writing and office administration. Immediately, I got consultancy jobs at my own time, designing operating manuals for companies and organizations. I was also, able to finish my first book and be with my friends at depressed areas for as long as I wanted – listening to their happy and sad stories, eating with them. I also learned to blog and share what I feel and think through the hi-tech and intricate social network.

At the end, I am happy. And, that is what I am trying to say now. The twist I gave my life made me realize that I have many God-given gifts in me that I must share with others. I must not fail Him in what He gave me as His investment so that I will become worthy of his noble intention when He gave me life. Simply said, it is my way of paying Him back, but through my fellow creatures.

Have Contentment…Be Happy!

Have Contentment…Be Happy!

By Apolinario Villalobos

 

There is always a question if we are happy in what we do. One thing has been missed – a check if there is contentment. It should be remembered that unless we are contented in what we are doing, we can never be happy. In other words, contentment should come first, before we can finally say that we are happy.

 

Happiness is the emotion that translates the degree of contentment that we feel. The most evident expression is the smile which means that, the lesser the lips part for the smile, the lesser is the degree of contentment, and the wider the parting of the lips is, the greater is the contentment. Of course, for the more ecstatic, the higher the jump, the greater is the happiness felt. Or the louder the shout, the higher is the degree of the happiness that needs to be let out.

 

One stumbling block in this quest is greed which for as long as not satiated, no contentment is in sight. Some people don’t seem to understand the word “enough”.  The resulting attitude may be positive, especially, in the attainment of success. On the other hand, unsatisfied greed drives some countries to exploit economically frail ones, corrupt politicians and government officials to further exploit the trust of constituents, land grabbers to claim more lands, businessmen to ride on the dire need of the lowly for basic necessities, etc.

 

Happiness is not always measured by money. Having satisfaction in an endeavor is more than enough to make one smile. Filipinos are known for this. On TV, interviewed Filipinos can still sweetly smile even after declaring their difficulties in life, while adding that they are happy in earning just enough. Evidently, whatever minute degree of contentment left in them is not overwhelmed by hate, but instead, happiness is still projected by a smile on their face.

 

There is a persistent reminder for us to be contented with what we have in life, although, what comes later as added blessing can be welcomed and shared. If only everybody bears that in mind, the world shall burst with happiness!

 

 

 

 

As Time Moves On…So Does Life

As Time Moves On

       …so Does Life

 

By Apolinario Villalobos

 

 

Life is a never ending cycle

that moves with time

there is no turning back

not even retracing of steps

to where we have been;

whatever time has been wasted

cannot be regained

but there is always the chance

to make amends

for mistakes committed

…as lessons learned.

 

We grow with time 

we can’t be forever young

we have a purpose in life

and this we should fulfill  

hence, live  a sensible life

it should be –

replete with gladness and contentment

not voraciousness for material things

for at the end of our day

such a load is just too heavy

as we embark on our final journey.

Want a Serene Life? Try These…

Want a Serene Life? Try These…

                                      By: Apolinario B. Villalobos

 

 

The following are suggestions. I practice them myself and I am living a peaceful life, perhaps, you may find them helpful, too.

Do not accumulate worldly materials beyond your need. Most people adhere to the notion that the more worldly materials they have in life the more they become secure. And for them, these accumulated materials manifest success in life, too. It is the reason why these people become compulsive buyers and collectors  of things that take their fancy – things that they can show off. Unknowingly, by doing so, they are developing some kind of fear of not having things that they want which further develops into insecurity, and worse, attachment to these worldly things making them reluctant to accept death knowing that they are leaving their accumulated wealth behind.

Do not play “God” to others. Some people try their best “to guide” others todo good. Unfortunately, they themselves are doing things the wrong way. It islike telling friends: follow what I say, but do not follow what I do.

Do not depend on someone or something for happiness. Some people attribute their happiness to their success in job, kind of family, friends, wealth, etc. As a result, when they lose their job, it is as if life has ended for them, or when their marriage has failed, for them the only way to end the misery is to commit suicide, or when close friends have left them, they felt there is nobody to run to when problems crop up, or when their savings have dwindled, they felt as if they have suddenly become poor. Just take things in stride.

Do not “mark” people. Do not ask others what province they came from, orwhat their jobs are, or where they live. Accept people as what they are.Purportedly, we ask people about their background so that we will know how to “adjust”  to their kind of personality. Unconsciously, however, the one reason why we do that is to make sure that we are better than them. It is when we have known their background that we begin to blame these for their faults.

Do not think that you can never do any good. Believe in what you can do. As you wake up in the morning, do not ever think that you are too tired to do things for the day or that you are not just in the mood to do some things for the day. If you develop the habit about negating your capabilities, such will stick to your personality, which can later on drag you down.

Do not attach your emotions to any worldly materials. Learn how to part with your “valuables” so that you will not be depressed when you share them with others. Console yourself with the thought that you have made a sacrifice to make others happy.

Do not be impressed by external beauty – the made up faces on magazine covers. Most importantly, do not compare how you look with these images. Each one of us is unique. Beauty emanates from inside of us and the impression depends on how we manifest them through our speech, actions, etc. Beauty can be equated with gracefulness and tactfulness. If one feels blessed or enlightened, tranquility is shown on his or her face and that is when beauty is manifested and impressed on others.

Talk to yourself. At least once a day, especially, before arising from bed, try to contemplate on what you have done the day before and evaluate them whether they were good or  bad. Did you hurt somebody’s feelings? Did you exploit somebody to your own advantage? Etc. As an exercise, face yourself in the mirror and talk to yourself. Scold yourself if you found that you have done something wrong. The best measure for this is the “Golden Rule”  which simply put, is your not wanting bad done to you, hence, you should not do something bad to others, too. If indeed you have wronged others, make amendsLet go…! Let go of whatever bad thoughts you have about others. Try replacing  these thoughts with the goodness that these “others” have done, not necessarily to you, but to others. You may go to the extent of presuming that they have done something good to others. It can’t hurt you.

Be contented… with the kind of friends you have. You may extend a helping hand in such a subtle way as to imply that they need to change their ways. Do not impose yourself on them for they will surely be turned off.

 Listen to your conscience. Man was created by God as an intelligent being, hence, with the ability to know what is good or bad. And, as our integral part, we have our conscience – our inner self that always tells us what is good for us. Unfortunately, our physical self always plays the villain. That is why, there exists the so-called “mind vs. body” struggle. With a simple vice as smoking for instance, our conscience tells us that it is bad but our physical craving tells us to go ahead. It is therefore, worthwhile to listen once in a while to what our conscience says, and discipline in this regard will determine, how far we can go.

Visualize. You can be what you want to be. As earlier mentioned, the impression that you give depends on what is going on in your mind. Visualize yourself as a “cool” person and you will surely have that smile in your face . Visualize yourself as a patient person and you can be one without much effort. Choose your kind of behavior.

Think of yourself as a positive person – a happy person, as if you are a kind of light from which emanates a radiance that floods your surrounding with happiness. Think of yourself as a radiance that touches others to give them warmth

 Share. We have been used to sharing material things – food, money, etc. which are tangible. But have you ever unselfishly shared ideas that in one way or another can help others? But remember not to impose when you share. In doing this, it should be on a “take it or leave it” basis

To be honest about it, I had second thoughts before deciding to put these “personal” guiding principles into writing to be shared with others.. with you. Take them or forget about them, anyway. At least I tried…