How Friendship Can Turn Sour

How Friendship Can Turn Sour

By Apolinario Villalobos


Friendship is a very complicated relationship because it is the foundation of the rest of human bonds that include love. Even within the family, the relationship among the members should be sturdily founded on friendship. Without friendship, there could be no trust and finally, love.


Some people profess to be friends, but they do not even show it through action which is the best manifestation of such feeling. Even the mute who cannot express themselves verbally, show their feelings and what are in their mind through sign language. Lately, the thumbs and forefingers of both hands can even form the heart shape to indicate friendship or love. Add to this the adage, “action speaks louder than words” which I need not explain further.


Unfortunately, such relationship that may take even a decade to develop can easily turn sour. This happens when jealousy gets into the picture. There are some people who cannot accept the metamorphosis of their friends into successful personalities because of hard-earned accomplishments, including seemingly unlimited financial blessings. For these jealous people, to recognize such success is accepting defeat on their part. This happens among those who have been competing with each other while growing up or while classmates. Those who found their friends way ahead of them years later, develop depression which turns the relationship into sourness or bitterness.


I have been in situations clouded with bitterness many times and heard dismal remarks about people who I leaned later were friends of those talking among each other. The remarks were disheartening, such as: “look at her wear her jewelries…she looks like a Christmas tree!”, (referring to their friend who finally tasted some luxuries after working hard)… “the next time he comes around, let us ignore him, he always talks about his visit to the Holy Land” (referring to their friend who just wanted to share his experiences in Jerusalem)… “let us not like or make comment on his posts in facebook…he might think he is that good in taking photos and writing poems” (referring to their photo hobbyist friend who accompanies his posts with poetic lines), etc., etc. etc.


Some people cannot accept the reality that blessings are distributed among the creatures on earth. These blessings are not “handed over” but given as awards to those who strive for them. The Creator provided all creatures with means that they can use to be able to achieve them.  The stationary creatures, for instance, such as plants find ways to capture the rays of the sun, through their branches, twigs or vines. Even carnivorous plants have adaptations so that they can capture insects. Those with mobility, move towards what they need in life, such that creatures of the wild would stealthily sneak towards their prey, and man would sweat it out in pursuing jobs or struggle hard to take a hold on food.


The degree of success in gaining what are being strived for, especially, in the case of man, depends on his environment and persistence. Therefore, those who have been lazy to strive have no reason to feel bitter towards their hardworking friends who gained so much in life.  Additionally, those who chose not to venture beyond their comfort zone should not be jealous of friends who became rich because by dints of courage and perseverance, tried their luck abroad despite fearful apprehensions, and eventually succeeded.


Jealousy should not be harbored in one’s heart, as when such feeling takes root in there, its limbs can eventually overwhelm and creep all over his persona. Or, it can sour up the sweet relationship that for years friends have concocted. It can also disengage the link among the members of a group to which the jealous belong, thereby, sacrificing even the sake of unsuspecting members. It is unfair for the jealous friends to act in such a manner.


God did not intend us to be jealous of each other. He gave us the freedom to choose what is best for us, and that includes nurturing of friendship because, as another popular adage says, “no man is an island”. We need each other…