Ano Ba Talaga ang Pag-ibig?

Ano Ba Talaga Ang Pag-ibig?

By Apolinario B Villalobos

 

 

Mula pa noong panahong nauna

Ang pag-ibig ay sinisimbolo na ni kupido

Isang  anghel na laging tangan ay pana

Nakaumang sa magsing-irog

At handang magpakawala ng palaso

Na siyang tutusok sa mga puso

Magpapatibok sa mga ito ng mabilis

Hudyat na nabaon na ang pag-ibig

At handang bigkasin ng kanilang bibig.

 

Marami na ang namatay dahil sa pag-ibig

Marami na rin ang nasiraan ng bait

Marami  rin ang napariwara

Kaya  sa murang gulang ay nagsama

Nagpadami ng supling sa mundong ibabaw

Naging  palamunin at sa kalye’y pakalat-kalat

Walang direksyon ang buhay nguni’t

Kung umasta sila akala mo’y sikat –

Mga katawang nanlilimahid sa gulanit na damit.

 

Masarap ang umibig kung isip ang magpapanaig

At hindi damdamin na malayo sa utak

Na siyang dahilan ng masakit ng pagbagsak

Kapag natauhan sa bulag na dikta ng damadamin

Na kung umiral ay animo ulap sa kalawakan –

Natatangay ng hangin at hininigop ng init

Patungo sa mga palanas na tigang

Naghihintay na kahi’t ambon ay mabiyayaan

O di kaya’y hamog sa magdamag o kinaumagahan.

 

Di dapat umasa ng kung anu-ano na dala ng pag-ibig

Dapat hintaying kusang ialay ng taong nakakadama nito

Dahil pagkasiphayo lamang ang idudulot sa umaasa

Kung hindi dumating ang minimithi
Na nakikimkim ng damdaming kimi;

Dapat ding likas na maipakita sa mga kilos

Ang marubdob na nadarama ng isang umiibig

Huwag hintaying hingan ng kanyang irog

Ng mga bagay na sa harap niya ay dapat idulog.

 

Banal ang tunay na pag-ibig

Ito ay hindi libog na sa isang saglit

Kakawala sa katawang nag-iinit;

Kaakibat nito’y pagtatanging di nagdududa

At turingang may respeto sa isa’t isa,

Ang  bawa’t tibok ng puso para sa iniirog

Dapat ay laging dumadaan  sa utak

Nang sa gayon, lahat ng naipapakita sa kilos

At nasasambit ng bibig ay napag-iisipang lubos.

Ang Moralidad at Mga Moralista sa Bansang Pilipinas

Ang Moralidad at Mga Moralista

Sa Bansang Pilipinas

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

 

Ang moralidad ay isang prinsipyo na may kinalaman sa pagiging tama o mali ng isang gawain batay sa itinakda ng batas o simbahan, kaya hindi ito dapat limitado sa gawaing may kinalaman lamang sa sex. Ang pagnanakaw, pagpatay dahil sa masamang dahilan, pagsisinungaling, panlalamang ng kapwa, paninira ng kapwa, at iba pang maling gawain ay maituturing na mga imoral. Ang  kabaligtaran naman ng mga nabanggit ay may kinalaman sa kabutihan at itinuturing na moral. Sa ganang ito, hindi lang ang mga taong may mahigit sa isang asawa kung siya ay Kristiyano, halimbawa, ang maituturing na imoral dahil sinusuway niya ang itinuturo ng simbahan, kundi pati na rin ang mga taong nanlalalamang ng kapwa at lalo na ang mga opisyal na nagnanakaw sa kaban ng bayan na naging sanhi ng kahirapan ng maraming mamamayan. Ang huling nabanggit na imoralidad ay ang pinakamasidhi dahil hindi lang isa, dalawa, o tatlong tao ang napaglalangan at naapi, subalit milyon-milyon!

 

Walang namumukod-tanging tao na walang bahid ng imoralidad, lalo na sa panahon ngayon. Patunay dito ang nagpuputukang mga isyu tungkol sa imoralidad mismo ng mga namumuno sa mga simbahan, lalo na ang paglipana ng mga korap na opisyal sa mga pamahalaan ng anumang bansa.

 

May mga taong marami ang kerida o kabit at hindi nila itinuturing na “asawa” kundi “parausan” lamang ng kanilang kalibugan….YAN ANG IMORAL! At lalong imoral na gawain ang pag-abandona sa mga ito dahil hindi man lang nila binibigyan ng sustento, at hindi kinikilala ang bunga ng kanilang kalibugan.

 

Bakit binabatikos ng mga “moralista” ang isang taong may tatlong asawa, ganoong umamin naman sa ginawa niya at hindi naman tumatalikod sa responsibilidad, subalit ayaw naman nilang pamukhaan ang mga opisyal ng bayan na hayagang nagsisinungaling, nagpapabaya sa gawain, lalo na ang mga nagnanakaw sa kaban ng bayan, at  may gana pang ipagmalaki ang yamang galing sa masama? Dahil ba kapartido nila?

 

Huwag nang magmaang-maangang banal ang mga taong nagdadalawang mukha o nagdodoble-kara dahil lang sa ambisyong may kinalaman sa pulitika. Alam naman nilang masama ang tinutumbok ng tinatahak nilang daan tuwid man ito o liku-liko.  Ang isang taong nagmamalinis ay hindi dapat pumasok sa larangan ng pulitika na animo ay isang maputik na kwadra ng mga hayop. Wala silang karapatang bumatikos sa mga kalaban na tingin nila ay may masamang ugali dahil ang mga kasama nila sa partido mismo, kung hindi man kasingsama ng binabatikos nila ay lalong higit pang masama.

 

Ang hirap sa mga nagmamaang-maangang taong pumasok sa pulitika na tutulong daw sa bayan ay tumitingin pa sa malayo upang makakita lang ng taong imoral daw, samantalang pinaliligiran na sila ng mga taong hindi lang simpleng imoral subalit sagad sa buto ang pagka-imoral! Nagkakabanggaan pa nga sila ng mga balikat dahil natataranta na kung ano ang gagawin dala ng nerbiyos at baka matalo!

 

 

 

Love is Sweetest…the second time around (for Sol and Rod Retaga)

Love is Sweetest

…the second time around

(for Sol and Rod Retaga)

By Apolinario Villalobos

I saw Sol first along the highway outside our subdivision many years ago and was impressed by her dusky beauty, always smiling, yet. I did not know that she was our neighbor. Later on, because of our homeowners’ association, we became close, especially because she was also active in our projects just like me. What impressed me was her being down-to-earth, easy to get along with and most especially, her husky singing voice that she can manage to fit any style. I learned that she was working in a bank, but found still later on that she also moonlighted as a lounge singer.

She was a picture of happiness and contentment with her husband, Rey and their two children. But it was cut short by her husband’s death during the early part of the 80’s. Despite the loss, she moved on and took the misfortune as some kind of a challenge. From then on, she worked harder as a single parent, with her mother lending a hand.

Nobody knew about her colorful love life until she got married again, this time to Rod, a former classmate in third year high school (Jose Abad Santo High School/Arellano University – Pasay City).

Sol shared that Rod was her best friend in high school, and who provided her instrumental accompaniment every time she sang in their programs. The intense love for music made Rod decide to pursue his musical career after graduating from high school. At 18, he joined a band that had contracts abroad. Rod decided to pursue his studies in 1975, during which time, the two met again, although Sol was already married to Rey, her boyfriend of 8 years.

Since 1986 Sol had been helping her alumni association organize their annual reunion, by tracing the whereabouts of their former schoolmates. In 1999, for the 2000 Grand Reunion, while checking directories, she came across the name of Rod’s brother. Instinctively, she requested that the information about their reunion be relayed to him. She even wrote to Rod but got no reply. Then one day, she received a call from Taiwan and found out later that it was Rod who divulged that she just got divorced from his Taiwanese wife. He had three kids.

From then on, Rod would call and they talked for five to six hours. He was still with the band, performing in clubs and other joints, while she was still connected with a bank in the Ayala district of Makati City. As fate would have it, she decided to resign from the bank and joined Rod in Taiwan. Their common denominator was love for music which made them decide to get married, for which Rod was given the blessing by his children. As for Sol, her two children who have families of their own, were more than glad that they were getting a “brand new father”. Their marriage was very simple, no fanfare. They just wanted to tie the knots in public, among friends and relatives on hand, to show how sincere they were for the belated vow. That was in March 24, 2001.

Rod and Sol are still in Taiwan singing together and bowed to do it for as long as their God-given talent will allow them. Life can be mysterious, at times….and with love, Rod and Sol proved that it can be sweetest, not only sweeter, the second time around.

On Same-sex Marriage and Marriage itself

Please read this with open mind…and do not come up with a conclusion till after the last line.

On Same-sex Marriage
and Marriage itself
by Apolinario Villalobos

In the Philippines, the issue on same- sex marriage remains very sensitive, fragile, delicate, volatile, brittle, etc. The first time I heard about this kind of marriage, I immediately made a conclusion that “marriage” per se, be it done in churches, city hall, or basketball court, should not be applied to a homosexual relationship because such ceremony understandably involves the “father- to- be” and the “mother- to- be”, which has a biological implication. To put forward “adoption” of a child as a reason to substantiate the matrimonial ceremony for gay couples is flimsy. A gay couple can live together as they please and adopt a child, anyway, and without a binding document, so that any of them who first develop the feeling of suffocation can just step out of the door…so why still seek “marriage”?

Those behind the gay movement should assert for recognition, understanding, tolerance, and respect, instead. In this view, police precincts should change the signage on their special desk for children and women, to include gay. Understanding and tolerance must start within the family to help the individual grow emotionally stable. With those given, respect follows. That is how this issue should be treated, not jump into the marriage issue immediately which is proved as not even completely effective for heterosexual partners.

Another compromise that would totally eliminate the “same-sex marriage” issue is by having a law that shall recognize all types of “ceremony” for gay couples, without question on their gender. A word should be coined for such kind of ceremony to give it some kind of substance. The gay couple should be referred to as “partners” and not as “husband and wife”. The Catholic Church definitely cannot do this because it avers that marriage is “made in heaven” and only for a man and a woman who are expected to procreate because of their biological make up. On the other hand, because gays are a form of life, creatures of God, too, the Catholic Church should give them due respect, hence, understanding and tolerance of their emotions.

Individuals with special sexual preference must not be faulted for having such kind of feeling. First of all, nobody ever asked that they be born in this chaotic world. However, when they were formed in the womb, either intentionally or accidentally, they were not also given the choice which gender to have, much more the questioned in-between one. It is a good thing that when infants were baptized, they did not show any sign of gayness, otherwise they would not have been given the “watery blessing” by discriminating priests!

Gays on the other hand, must understand that failed marriage is expensive, considering the cost in the filing of legal separation and divorce, and with stringent conditions, yet. I gathered that a simple divorce procedure could cost a staggering 300 thousand pesos or more!

I had been advocating for the marriage contract to have a validity period, beyond which the couple can go on their separate ways if they do not want to renew the expired document. Therefore, there is no need for them to file for the expensive divorce. Contract is a legal temporal binding document between or among parties and is never complete without expiration in the form of validity period or conditions as basis for its nullification. So why not put such provision in the civil marriage contract? The Catholic Church seems to have seen this angle, as it has its so-called optional and symbolic “renewal of vows” for couples after living together as husband and wife for years. But none of this kind is being done for the civil marriage.

I know of a woman who lovingly “warned” her bed-ridden husband who could only stare but could not speak due to a series of stroke, not to die yet, until after their diamond wedding anniversary. The woman, herself, told me this story while sounding funny. But for me, the message is clear…perpetuation of love between couples is not dictated by any law, nor written on any piece of document but dwells in the heart, that not even a series of stroke rendering a husband or a wife bed-ridden, can suppress.

For Filipino gays who would like to get married, my suggestion is an expensive jaunt to the United States. I am sure that with the decision of the US Supreme Court, the non-gays will also use this reason to get a US visa, as any US embassy is not supposed to reject such a harmless request which is the latest bold manifestation of freedom for which the country of “big opportunities” is known.