Ang Laptop Kong Bungi…ka-partner ko sa pagbatikos at pagpuri

Ang Laptop Kong Bungi

…ka-partner ko sa pagbatikos at pagpuri

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

 

Wala siyang teklado para sa letrang “M” subalit subok ang tibay dahil kahit bahayan ng langgam ang mga kalamnan ay hindi sumusurender maski pa maghapong gamitin. Ilang taon din siyang nagtiis sa pagtipa ko sa teklado ng kanyang mga letra at simbolo, yon nga lang, pagdating sa bunging bahagi para sa letrang “M” ay kailangang maingat ang aking pagpindot. Malaki ang utang na loob ko sa laptop na ito dahil lahat ng mga saloobin ko ay kinakaya niyang ipunin…i-absorb, kaya siguro kung mayroon lang siyang bituka baka palagi siyang nagsusuka, o di kaya kung may puso, ay matagal na siyang na-heart attack. Kahit halos mamuwalan na siya sa mga pinapakain kong nakakasuka at nakaka-heart attack na mga isyu, ay hindi siya nanghihina man lang.

 

Ang problema lang ay ang colonial niyang mentality dahil may mga salitang Pilipino na pinagpipilitan niyang baybayin sa Ingles kaya kailangan kong basahin nang paulit-ulit ang mga naisulat niya upang ang “namin” ay hindi maging “naming”, o di kaya ang “hindi maging” ay hindi maging “hind imaging”, ang “letra” ay hindi maging “letre”, at marami pang ibang salitang Pilipino na tinatarantado niya….sutil kasi.

 

Minsan ko na rin siyang nadunggol dahil sa sobrang antok nang bumagsak ang noo ko sa kanya, subalit hindi siya nagreklamo kahit sa pamamagitan ng pag-kuryente man lang sa akin. Nalaman kong nasaktan ko siya nang maramdaman ko sa aking pisngi ang kanyang pag-overheat makalipas ang dalawang oras ng pagkakatulog. Literally, I slept on my laptop! Siguro kung nakakatawa lang ang butiki ay hinalakhakan na ako dahil sa hindi kalayuan ay may nakita akong dalawa na halos hindi gumagalaw dahil siguro nagulat, pero nagpulasan nang tiningnan ko sila ng masama.

 

Hindi mitsa ng buhay ko ang aking mahal na laptop dahil old-fashion siya, luma na kasi, kaya kahit bitbitin ko siyang hubad, ibig sabihin ay hindi nakalagay sa bag, walang magkaka-interes. Parang babae rin na dahil naitatago ng pagka-old fashion ang kanyang ganda, siya ay malayo sa posibilidad na magahasa! Kaya ang mga babae ay hindi dapat magpakita ng motibo o pag-anyaya upang magahasa…magpaka-simple o magpaka-old fashion din kahit minsan….maliban na lang ang mga desperada!

 

Para ring tao ang aking laptop na nag-undergo ng operasyon at pagtapal dahil marami na rin siyang diperensiya maliban sa pagkabungi. Ang dating ayaw pumermanenteng pagtayo ng screen kaya nilalagyan ko pa ng suporta sa likod, ay naremedyuhan ng isang doktor ng mga laptop – may ginalaw sa kasu-kasuan o joints nito kaya nakakatayo na ngayon nang tiyeso. Ang dating sugat sa gilid dahil nabasag ay natapalan na rin ng karton kaya ngayon ay buo na siya – good as new!

 

Ang kuwento ng laptop ko ay maihahalintulad din sa kuwento ng alagang hayop na pinagkakautangan dapat ng loob ng nag-aalaga dahil sa dulot nilang therapeutic relief, o di kaya ay iba pang bagay na napakinabangan para sa araw-araw na pamumuhay. May utang na loob tayo sa kanila. Hindi sila dapat binabale-wala nang basta-basta pagkatapos pagsawaan o kapag nagkaroon ng bago, lalo na ngayong pasko.

 

Hindi din dapat ganyan ang mag-asawa na pagkalipas ng maraming taon ay basta na lang makaramdam ng pagkasawa sa isa’t isa, kaya nagkakanya-kanya na sa pagrampa upang maghanap ng ibang mapagparausan. O di kaya ay ibang mga anak na pagkatapos iluwal ng ina at palakihin ng ama ay walang pakundangan kung sila ay balewalain o ikahiya sa ibang tao dahil walang pinag-aralan o di kaya ay hindi maganda o guwapo tulad ng mga magulang ng mga kaibigan nila, o di kaya ay amoy pawis dahil sa pagtinda sa palengke, hindi tulad ng magulang ng classmate nila na nagtatrabaho sa aircon na opisina.

 

Pairalin natin ang utang na loob. Magbago tayo….bilang pasalubong sa bagong taong 2016!

laptop kong bungi

 

 

 

Fearless Predictions for a Comfortable Life

Fearless Predictions for a Comfortable Life

By Apolinario Villalobos

I know that I will be exposing myself to ridicule with the ideas that I will share in this dissertation, as viewers will perceive me as a trying hard Nostradamus. But I don’t mind because I espouse freedom of expression. I am emboldened with the questions such as, was not TV used to be called “idiot box” before it was finally accepted? …and was not the cellular phone just a crazy idea, far from being realized because there was no connecting cable involved?

When I was young, during which the only cordless communication gadget that I knew was the walkie-talkie radio units, I was already imagining about phones not connected with cords and wires. I had my first glimpse of a phone from the pages of the National Geographic when I was in high school. Later, I saw pictures of phones installed in cars. Later, the pager came, and finally, the cellular phones that are being manufactured today with different shapes. There was a time when I imagined a typewriter that could store typed words; small flashlights and radios that can fit pockets; pencils that double as ballpoint pens.

Today, I do not tire of imagining things to come as a result of never-ending quest of man for things that will satisfy his whims and comfort. Although there is a popular view is that, newly-invented gadgets are nothing but ridiculous contraptions until their use have become widely accepted.

Along this line, I imagine the day when a slim duplicating machine will become an integral part of laptops. A few stack of copying paper, brought along in the laptop bag, can be fed to it one at a time. Bulky? No!…because the design I imagine shall revolve around the principles of slimness and lightness. On the other hand, the prototype of a laptop that can be rolled and which I have been imagining for many years has already come out in the internet.

I also imagine, a set of 3 ball pen-sized contraptions that beam laser images of computer keyboard on a table, screen on the wall, with the third serving as modem that stores beamed images and texts, and with the contraptions operating on a very compact battery.

Other innovations that I am imagining are:

  • Cellphones, laptops, i-pads, and other gadgets that run on motion-charged batteries (this concept is already used in automatic writswatches, but not yet on big gadgets)
  • “Perpetual” vibrating cellphone restpad/charger for units with motion-charged battery; the restpad/charger shall also be self-charging from its motion, with the initial charge from few minutes of shakes given to it
  • Cellphone units that can convert received verbally transmitted messages into text, as well as, vocalize received text messages for the benefit of the deaf and blind
  • Cellphone units that automatically prevent electrical transmission of chargers when batteries are already full to prevent overcharging
  • Batteries for laptop and cellphone that can last for one week despite regular daily use
  • Cellphones that can be unfolded four times into a mini-pad
  • Intelligent cars installed with application readers, to enable them to read applications, for instance, on geographical make up of a town, city, province, and direction to tourist destinations, so that a tourist can just go to a car rental agency, choose an application depending on the number of destination wanted, and let the car do the rest – without even being driven; the intelligent cars shall also read applications on reminders about the fuel status of the car, spare parts that need to be replaced, etc.
  • Cars that can reverse magnetic attraction to a certain level, so that they can be driven over flooded surface
  • Airport cars that are remote- controlled so that after bringing clients to destinations, they can be electronically guided back to the airport garage
  • Wheelchairs that can float and be driven, with battery powered by motion
  • Edible food container as replacement for styros
  • A chemical that can disinfect and convert human waste into an odorless consistency free from germs, and can be molded into hardy boards and roofing sheets that can be used for low-cost housing
  • A chemical that can convert waste from the kitchen into liquid fertilizer
  • Hybrids of fruits such as seedless jackfruit and durian with smooth skin, kiwi fruit with edible skin, seedless avocado with edible skin, round banana with edible skin, seedless mango with edible skin, grapes that can grow into the size of pomelo
  • Hybrids of vegetables such as seedless gourds, seedless tomato, seedless cucumber, seedless squash, elongated cabbage that can grow like vine
  • Hybrids of flowers such as roses that can bear flowers as big as cabbage and can last for at least one year, and when cut, for at least three months
  • A glowing paint with pigments that can illuminate walls and ceilings, with the degree of illumination depending on the color of the paint, to drastically reduce, if not eliminate the use of light bulbs in some areas of the house or building
  • Gadgets that can capture electricity from a source at least fifty kilometers away so that electric cables shall no longer be necessary to transport the power to the homes and other structures; the principle to be used here will be similar to the one used in the cordless mouse of computers and cordless chargers of cellphones
  • A gadget that can be plugged into a socket and can send power to an equipment such as copying machine, refrigerator, TV, radio, and music station, while another gadget shall be attached to the equipment to receive the power; this way the clutter of cables and wires is eliminated and the equipment can be moved anywhere in the house or building but within the range of the relaying and receiving gadgets
  • Umbrellas with extra thin extension that can be unrolled into a tarp and can accommodate 4 more people
  • CCTV cameras that are programmed to detect harmful actions of captured images so that an alert can be received by the monitor and which shall send out a signal; this way the CCTV can maximize its use even if the monitor is not watched 24/7

The modern world thrives on some crazy ideas and I would like to contribute some of my own. I am asking the indulgence of viewers in this effort. This is better than thinking of ways on how to evade a CCTV while robbing a bank, kill someone with a deadly look, break eardrums with horrid songs, or concoct herbal preparations that can induce conception of quadruplets or quintuplets.