Farewell…Eboy
(for Eboy Jovida)
By Apolinario Villalobos
In this world you’ve ceased to live
But in our heart and mind
You shall linger with a smile –
And, it shall never fade in time.
You’ve tried to be the best you could –
Husband, father… friend
In songs you have crooned
Even the calm you well feigned.
Farewell…to the best father, farewell!
Friend, you’re a delight
Ride on the glory of our love
As you journey towards that Light!
Bernard Fetalvero- de la Cruz at Ian Paredes -Atrero
…naghuhubog ng mga kabataan ng Real Dos (Bacoor City)
Ni Apolinario Villalobos
Kabataan pa lang niya ay nakitaan na si Bernard de la Cruz, 26 taong gulang ngayon, ng pagkahilig sa basketball, kaya hindi nakapagtataka ng naglaro siya sa koponan ng SFACS high school at sa college naman ay naging varsity player ng kanilang paaralan, ang Emilio Aguinaldo College. Nasa lahi nila ang pagiging basketbolista dahil ang kanyang tatay ay naging PBA player. Mapalad si Bernard dahil noong kabataan niya ay hindi pa uso ang computer at internet café kaya ang panahon niya ay nagugol sa paglaro ng basketball. Malaki ang pasasalamat niya kay Wilson “Bong” de Jesus sa paghubog sa kanya pati na ang iba pa niyang kababata sa paglaro ng basketball. Hindi naging maramot si Bong sa pagbahagi ng mga nalalaman niya sa larong ito, kaya maraming natutuhan si Bernard at ang iba pang mga kabataan. Natanim sa pagkatao ni Bernard ang disiplina kaya madali niyang natutunan ang iba’t ibang teknik sa paglaro tulad ng pag-“grind”.
Ngayon, maliban sa pag-alaga ng nanay niyang na-stroke, full time din siyang Church worker na nagtitiyaga sa pagtuturo ng pag-unawa sa Bibliya sa mga kabataan ng barangay. Ayon sa kanya,
“…masaya na ako na gumagaling ang mga kabataan sa paglaro ng basketball at nalalayo sila sa masamang bisyo…nagiging responsible at disiplinado. At, naisi-share ko din yung faith ko kay Jesus Christ sa kanila….si Ian ang team mate ko na super solid brother ko in this life and the next ay nandiyan din na palagi kong katuwang.” Malaking bagay din ang pagiging magka-tandem nila ni Ian. Naging matatag ang spiritual foundation nito dahil sa naibabahagi niyang mga ispiritwal na bagay, lalo na ang pananalig sa Diyos. Dahil sa tiwala nila sa isa’t isa, nabuo nila ang team ng mga kabataan ng Real Dos. Dagdag pa niya, “ang main goal talaga namin ni Ian sa pagtuturo ng basketball is to honor God, and to share our faith with the youth…guide them to become better persons on and off the court…kaya, lahat ng ginagawa namin is to honor God dahil sa paniniwala kong all glory belongs to Jesus, at lahat ng ginagawa namin ay in His name.”
Tulad ni Bernard, si Ian Atrero, na ngayon ay 25 taong gulang na, ay unang natutong maglaro ng basketball sa Perpetual Village 5 noong kabataan niya. Malaking bagay sa kanya ang mga natutunan niya dahil napasama siya sa Adamson Junior Falcons sa loob ng dalawang taon – 1969 at 1970. Napasama din siya sa coaching staff para sa “Camp and Play Basketball” na pinangunahan noon ni Coach Dayong Mendoza, na coach din niya noong siya ay nasa high school. Si Mendoza ang naging inspirasyon ni Ian sa adbokasiyang paghubog ng mga kabataan ng Real Dos. Dahil sa inspirasyong nabigay ni coach Mendoza sa kanya, sumidhi ang pagpursige niya na lalong matuto sa larong ito.
Naging MVP siya ng BPO Classics, major league ng mga BPO companies. Nakamit niya ang karangalan sa murang gulang, kaya nasabi niyang, “… pag gusto mo ang isang bagay, magagawan mo ng paraan upang makamitt ito…minsan kasi choice lang lahat yan…kung choice mong mag-excel, eh, di sipagan mo…kung gusto mong maging tamad, eh, di choice mo pa rin yon”. Dagdag pa niya, “the choices we make today will determine our future…in personal matters, and in sports…I am a simple kid lang before na mahilig maglaro ng basketball sa village court kahit tanghaling tapat…nangarap at nagsipag para makasama din sa isang varsity team na natupad naman…nagpapasalamat ako sa mga taong nagturo sa akin noong bata pa ako…una, dahil wala silang bayad at ang goal nila ay may matutunan ako at mga kababata ko, kasama ang pag-enhance ng skills na meron na kami…at, ang isa pang masasabi ko ay natuto ako dahil sa pagtitiyaga at pagsisipag ko na rin…naniniwala ako na kaya kong makipag-compete sa iba…I am not born talented but I am born with determination to work hard coupled with determination.” Nagtatrabaho si Ian ngayon bilang Learning and Development Analyst or e-Learning Developer, ngunit, ang talagang balak niya noon ay maging propesor.
Dahil magkasama na mula noong bata pa sila, nag-usap sina Bernard at Ian tungkol sa kaya nilang gawin upang makatulong sa mga kabataan ng barangay Real Dos, at tulad ng inaasahan, sumentro ang usapan sa basketball na pareho nilang hilig. Ang unang pangarap ni Ian na maging propesor ay magagamit sa “pagturo” na animo ay titser, ng mga kabataan sa larangan ng basketball, na tatapatan naman ng pagiging maka-Diyos ni Bernard isang full-time Church worker ngayon, upang ang matutunan ng mga kabataan ay hindi “magaspang” na uri ng paglaro.
Nagtugma ang kanilang mga adhikain dahil para sa kanila, napapanahon na ang pagpasa ng mga natutunan nila…kung baga ay, “it’s payback time”, ayon na rin sa kanila. Hindi nila pwedeng bayaran ang mga nagturo sa kanila noon, kaya ang utang na loob ay ipapasa na lang nila sa iba. Naantig ang damdamin nila habang pinapanood noon ang mga kabataan na nagpipilit na matutong mag-shoot ng bola at kumilos ayon sa hinihingi ng larong nabanggit. Walang technicalities at systematic organization. Umiral siguro ang mental telepathy sa pagitan nilang dalawa kaya sandal lang ay nakabuo agad sila ng mga plano. Inuna nila ang “inspirational stage” kaya nag-share sila ng mga karanasan nila sa mga kabataan upang matanim sa kanilang isipan na ang laro ay hindi lang pag-shoot o pagpasa ng bola. Ibinahagi nila ang dinanas nilang hirap at sarap upang matuto. Sumunod ay ang paggawa ng iskedyul – tuwing Sabado habang may pasukan sa eskwela, pero babaguhin pagdating ng bakasyon.
Sa ngayon, lahat ng gastos ay hinuhugot nina Bernard at Ian sa kani-kanilang bulsa, kasama na ang para sa paminsan-minsang snacks na kapalit ng magandang performance ng mga tinuturuan nila sa pag-practice. Hindi kasubuan ang turing nina Bernard at Ian sa pinasok nilang adhikain kaya handa sila sa mga bagay na may kinalaman sa kanilang sinimulan, tulad ng mga pinangarap na cones, bola, uniporme at iba pa. Hindi madaling sabihing pag-iipunan nila ang mga ito, na nakatanim sa kanilang isipan dahil sa laki ng halagang kakailanganin. Subalit tulad ng sinabi ni Ian sa unang bahagi nitong sanaysay, “kung gugustuhin ay talagang magagawan ng paraan”.
Naniniwala ako sa “milagro” dahil isa ito sa mga ginagamit ng Diyos na paraan upang makapagbukas ng isipan ng tao upang siya magbago. At ang “milagro” ay nangyayari nang hindi inaasahan kung minsan, kahit hindi hinihingi ang isang bagay. Malay natin….may matanggap na “grasya” sina Bernard at Ian, ang dalawang taga-hubog ng kabataan ng Real Dos, na pondo upang magamit sa pagbili ng mga pangunahing pangangailangan, at susundan pa ng magagamit naman sa pagbili ng iba pa? Manalig lang sa kapangyarihan ng Diyos, wika nga ni Bernard!…at magsikap din, wika naman ni Ian!
Sa pamamagitan nitong isinulat ko, nanawagan ako sa mga may gintong puso at gustong tumulong sa adhikain nina Bernard at Ian.
rnard Fetalvero- de la Cruz at Ian Paredes -Atrero
…naghuh
Be Sensitive to the Desire of Others
for Privacy and Mutual Respect
By Apolinario Villalobos
Be sensitive to what our friends want when it comes to their privacy and their subtle desire to be respected as they do to us. We should not throw our weight around them or be nosy about their private affairs, or be too fatherly or motherly, or too elderly in treating them. Some people or friends for that matter are too shy to protest against our intrusive acts. Take note that not everybody is boastful or arrogant or too self-confident, if we have that kind of personality. Be sensitive about our friends’ body language as a simple silence could mean a lot.
We should always remember that what may be applicable to us, may not apply to them. If we allow for instance, friends to just barge in our home without knocking at the door anytime of the day, some of our friends may not, as they consider such act as too presumptuous or worse, abusive. Some friends may not want to be asked about any problem that might be nagging them, as their overly private character has made them too secretive about such sensitive matter.
We should learn how to “give a suggestion” instead of “impose an advice” just because those we want to help are younger than us or belong to a lesser social status. Let respect of their person and wisdom prevail. In this regard and based on my encounters, I found that even some of those who have earned only elementary education have wiser or sounder decisions than those who got educated in prestigious colleges and universities to earn “high-end courses”.
Finally, be careful and ever gentle in browsing through the pages of a book and most of all…do not judge it by its cover.
When Friendship is Falsified and Abused
By Apolinario Villalobos
Friendship can be tagged with related words such as congeniality, hospitality, love, trust, intimacy and many more synonyms that go with positive relationship between two and among many people.
The problem with some people is that they do not have the common sense of assessing their capacity to manifest friendship to the point of falsifying it, so that at the end, they feel bad if they think their congeniality has been abused. At the start, they should have restrained themselves from giving hints to others that their being “accommodating” is limitless.
Manifestation of friendship may vary according to the degree of closeness and trust that one would like to show to their friends. In this regard, some friends may just be good for drinking sprees, some as buddies who can be trusted even with personal problems, some as sources of financial support, some as “escorts” in elitist occasions or ballroom dancing and some may be fortunately treated as best friends forever or “bff”.
On the other hand, some people abuse the friendship shown to them, especially, on the aspect of finances. They assume that because of friendship, they can always borrow money from their rich friends without even the courtesy of an excuse if they failed to pay back on time, though most often, they really have no intention of doing such. Some also, practically exploit their “friends” whose social status is lesser than theirs, by treating them as some kind of servants whose usefulness is good in doing errands, driving them around, cooking for them during special occasion at home, etc, but never brought along to discriminatory parties of elite colleagues.
There are “true friends”, no doubt about that, but we should try to understand the extent of the sincerity in such kind of relationship. We should not feel bad, therefore, if we find out that we are left out during some occasions, or we do not know some goings on, finding them out only in photos posted on facebook. In other words, as already aforementioned, a person has a “fitting role” to play in the life of his or her friends depending on their need, and the former’s skill or character. That is a fact that should be accepted, for a Biblical legend says that even God has His own “chosen people”….His “true and trusted friends”….but who, at the end, betrayed His trust!
Nevertheless, one sure occasion that all kinds of friends can really bond together is the school reunion during which, even “enemies” during school days embrace, kiss and shed tears of excitement and joy that overshadow boxing and kicking bouts, spats and hair pulling incidents in the past!
The “Funny Money” that Goes A Long, Long Way
By Apolinario Villalobos
The “funny money” comes from “Perla”, a kind-hearted Filipina benefactor based in America. She earns the money from her translation “sideline”, as she is on a regular call to interpret for Filipinos with cases being heard in court, and who have difficulty in speaking English. The “funny” is her lingual concoction for the job that she did not seek, but in a way, accidentally came her way. She has been consistently supporting my RAS (random acts of sharing) which started when she learned of my RAS from my blogs about such advocacy.
What is really funny is the reaction of friends who keep on asking where some of my fund comes from, as if suspecting me to push drugs just to earn extra. They just cannot believe that somebody would send money for total strangers who are in dire need for help. When I add that there was also a time when another friend in London sent money, and still another in America sent a “blessing” through her “balikbayan” sister, their eyes get bigger in disbelief. In exasperation, I just tell them that it is very difficult for somebody to understand the sharing that others are doing if he or she does not have the same advocacy in life….or if he or she does not extend a hand to others as a habit. As expected, these fence-sitting friends fail to get what I mean. The problem with some people is that, they are used to seeing “charitable acts” done only by people who wear t-shirts emblazoned with their mission.
Perla drives or commutes to courts or hospitals where her service as translator is needed. Her benevolence sometimes bothers me, as I would imagine that she could be left with a little amount or nothing for her own needs. Every time I remind her about that, she would send me a message with typed laughter with an assurance that what she sends me is “funny money” earned accidentally from the job that she has somehow learned to like.
The unselfish sharing of Perla always reminds me of the comment of my two “balikbayan” friends who tried to treat me to a lunch. On our way to the restaurant inside a mall, I saw an emaciated mother and her child who was holding on to a black garbage bag half-filled with empty plastic bottles. Both were staring at the customers eating fried chicken at a lunch counter near the aircon van terminal. When I told my friends to go ahead and that I would just follow in a few minutes, as I would like to buy packed lunch for the mother and her child, they told me not to bother, as “we can just pack our left- over for them after our lunch inside the mall”….they meant “doggie bag”. What they said made me adamant and which also made me decide not to join them anymore despite their pleading. When they left, I bought three packed lunch for the three of us – I, the mother and her child, and enjoyed it in the farthest corner of the terminal where we slumped on the floor. That lunch made my day….and, for which was spent part of Perla’s “funny money”.
.
Sa Pagsapit ng Valentine’s Day
Ni Apolinario Villalobos
Marami ang excited sa pagsapit ng Valentine’s Day
May nagbabadyet na ng panggastos come what may
Pagdiriwang na halaw sa nakaugalian ng mga pagano
Na nagpaigting naman sa pagkakaisa ng mga Kristiyano.
Maraming alamat ang nakatha dahil sa araw ni Kupido
Na ang gamit sa pagbuklod ng two hearts ay isang palaso
May kapilyuhan pa mandin kung ito’y kanyang pakawalan
Tungo sa mga pakay na pusong, kung tusuki’y dalawahan.
Si lalaki, kalimitan ay bulaklak ang bigay kay gandang babae
Subali’t may iba namang can afford kaya ang bigay, tsokolate
Ang ibang kapos, wala mang maiabot ay nakakaisip ng gimik –
Ito’y pagsuyong may kasamang init ng yapos at tamis ng halik.
Isang beses isang taon kung itong inaasam na araw ay sumapit
Isang araw ng pag-ibig, ng mga puso at yakap na napakahigpit
Pero tanong ng ilan, baki’t hindi gawing araw-araw na lang ito?
Upang ang magsing-irog hindi na pasulyap-sulyap sa kalendaryo!
Tokens of Love for the Beloved
By Apolinario Villalobos
One need not be rich
to show the love that throbs in his heart.
Tokens are not measured
by the weight of gold and value of paper bills…
not even by the vastness of the land he owns,
or fleet of cars in his garage.
A sincere token of love can be felt by the beloved –
even a peck on the check,
a hug that need not be chokingly tight
but warm enough,
to send a tinge of assurance
that he is just around.
Tokens of love need not be
the oft-repeated promises
broken in a fleeting second by temptations.
A sweet smile that parts the lips
and a touch of one’s finger tips
are enough for tears
to roll down the beloved’s face
and a suppressed sob –
at last, that she lets out
as his love for her…
she can no longer doubt.
Kung Babaguhin ang Ugali, Isama na rin ang Pananaw sa Buhay
Ni Apolinario Villalobos
Walang silbi ang pagbago ng pagkatao kung ugali lang ang magbabagong anyo, at ang pananaw sa buhay ay hindi. Ang isang halimbawa ay ang pagbago ng isang lasenggo na nabawasan nga ang pag-inom ng alak subalit hindi pa rin naniniwala sa kahalagahan ng pag-impok para sa kinabukasan….kaya kahit hindi na lasenggo, ay bulagsak pa rin sa pera. Ang ugali ng tao ay tungkol sa mga nakasanayang gawin at sabihin. Kung ang isang tao ay hindi na nga nagmumura pero mapanira pa rin ng kapwa, wala ring silbi an kanyang pagbabago.
May mga ugali ring mahirap baguhin dahil lulutang at lulutang ang likas na nakagawiang hindi kayang takpan ng pagpapaka-plastik o pagkukunwari. May mga taong sensitibo sa ugali ng iba kaya nararamdaman nila kung bukal sa kalooban ang sinasabi ng mga kausap nila dahil naipagkakanulo o betrayed sila ng ekspresyon ng kanilang mukha, at kahit ng simpleng galaw ng mata…sa Ingles, ito ang tinatawag na “body language”.
Ang paniniwala ay nagsisimula sa isip ng tao at ito ang nagpapakilos ng iba’t ibang bahagi ng katawan. Dalawang lakas ang nakakaapekta sa isip – positibo at negatibo….sa simpleng salita – mabuti at masama. Kung hindi tutugma ang ikinikilos ng isang tao sa kanyang iniisip, “nadudulas” siya sa pagsalita, na kung sa Ingles ay tinatawag na “slip of the tongue”. Ang tawag sa pilit na pagtatakip ng tunay na ugali ay pagkukunwari.
Upang maging kapani-paniwala ang pagbabago na ginagawa tuwing Holy Week at Bagong Taon, piliin ang mga ugaling “kayang baguhin”. Hindi kailangang mag-ambisyong maging santo o santa ang isang tao upang mabago ang masama niyang ugali. Kahit hindi siyento por siyentong mababago ang masamang ugali ng isang tao, basta aminin niyang siya ay talagang masama, ito ay katanggap-tanggap na, dahil nangangahulugang alam niya kung ano ang dapat baguhin sa kanyang pagkatao. Sa ganyang paraan, kahit papaano ay mauunawaan ang kanyang pagpipilit kaysa naman siya ay magpaka-plastik pero madalas namang madulas!!!
In the name of Love…
By Apolinario Villalobos
In the name of love…
Kilometric lines of praise can be uttered
Mountains of words can be piled
Tsunamic throbs can be sighed
And stones can come to life.
In the name of love…
Chilling nights can simmer with warmth
Swaying leaves can turn to fairies
That dance with delightful grace
And undulate with the breeze.
In the name of love…
Even the scrawny twigs can bear flowers
Grass made brown by searing sun
Can turn into cool green, so calm –
Under the sky’s cerulean expanse.
Pag-ibig sa Dulo ng Bahag-Hari
…natagpuan ni Thelma
(para kay Thelma Pama- Arcallo)
ni Apolinario Villalobos
Makulay ang pag-ibig na kanyang natagpuan
Pangakong ligaya ay tila walang katapusan
Pangako na kanya nang nararamdaman
At pati ginhawang hindi matatawaran.
Sa paraisong animo ay dulo na ng bahag-hari
At sa piling ng mga katutubo – mga T’boli
Landas nila ay nagtagpo, animo’y hinabi
Pinatatag ng pagsubok, lalong sumidhi.
Parang t’nalak na hinabi ang kanilang buhay
Masinsin ang pagkahabi, ‘di basta bibigay
Dahil subok, t’nalak ay talagang matibay
Tulad ng sumpaan nilang ‘di mabuway!
——————
Note:
Bahag-hari – rainbow
T’boli- natives of South Cotabato
T’nalak – T’boli cloth made from abaca fibers
lalong sumidhi – became stronger
masinsin – finely and delicately woven
mabuway – soft and easily bends; weak
penpowersong 