The Fragments of our Life
…realities that we should understand
By Apolinario Villalobos
From the time we came into this world up to age 4 or 5, we spent 100% of time with our parents and siblings at home. Beyond that, part of our time has been spent with friends, classmates, and teachers, until we have finished college. After graduating from college, we found a job at age 22, a little after or presumably at age 25 we have settled down. In the meantime, we worked until we reached the retirement age of 60 or 65. This presumption is based on the NORMAL stages of our life.
20 or 21 years spent with the family
15 or 16 years spent with friends and classmates
40 years or more in the work area
50 or 60 or even less spent with the same partner (if lucky)
In other words, childhood friends know us only for a short time while we were playing and went to school with them. Our family knows us only while we lived with them under the same roof until we have found a job and be with colleagues in the work area most of the time. Our family will never know if along the way, we met people that could practically cause drastic changes in our personality, and that includes using illegal drugs. Our partners in life are supposed to know us more as we spend the most time with them, but NOT ALL who settle down open 100% of themselves up to their partners.
The role of our parents in our life ends at the time we leave them to have a family of our own. Our childhood friends and classmates can recall only the naughty and happy times spent with them. Our colleagues in the work area can observe our characters while we are with them for 8 hours a day. And, our partners in life will only know us MORE if we trust them, but it is a different story if we do not.
In other words, nobody that we consider part of our life knows us COMPLETELY as they do not have a 100% knowledge of all the fragments of our life. It is for this reason that during wakes of departed loved ones, surprising stories would come up.
Nobody then has the right to make judgment on a person just because he is a son or daughter, a brother or sister, a classmate, a colleague in the work area, or even a wife or husband because they DO NOT know everything about him or her when he was still alive.
In view of the above, the only way to have a serene relationship with the people who have been or still part of our life is to be UNDERSTANDING OR INDULGENT for which an OPEN MIND should be maintained, instead of being JUDGMENTAL. That, for me, is how TRUST should be manifested and which should be RECIPROCAL.