On Same-sex Marriage and Marriage itself

Please read this with open mind…and do not come up with a conclusion till after the last line.

On Same-sex Marriage
and Marriage itself
by Apolinario Villalobos

In the Philippines, the issue on same- sex marriage remains very sensitive, fragile, delicate, volatile, brittle, etc. The first time I heard about this kind of marriage, I immediately made a conclusion that “marriage” per se, be it done in churches, city hall, or basketball court, should not be applied to a homosexual relationship because such ceremony understandably involves the “father- to- be” and the “mother- to- be”, which has a biological implication. To put forward “adoption” of a child as a reason to substantiate the matrimonial ceremony for gay couples is flimsy. A gay couple can live together as they please and adopt a child, anyway, and without a binding document, so that any of them who first develop the feeling of suffocation can just step out of the door…so why still seek “marriage”?

Those behind the gay movement should assert for recognition, understanding, tolerance, and respect, instead. In this view, police precincts should change the signage on their special desk for children and women, to include gay. Understanding and tolerance must start within the family to help the individual grow emotionally stable. With those given, respect follows. That is how this issue should be treated, not jump into the marriage issue immediately which is proved as not even completely effective for heterosexual partners.

Another compromise that would totally eliminate the “same-sex marriage” issue is by having a law that shall recognize all types of “ceremony” for gay couples, without question on their gender. A word should be coined for such kind of ceremony to give it some kind of substance. The gay couple should be referred to as “partners” and not as “husband and wife”. The Catholic Church definitely cannot do this because it avers that marriage is “made in heaven” and only for a man and a woman who are expected to procreate because of their biological make up. On the other hand, because gays are a form of life, creatures of God, too, the Catholic Church should give them due respect, hence, understanding and tolerance of their emotions.

Individuals with special sexual preference must not be faulted for having such kind of feeling. First of all, nobody ever asked that they be born in this chaotic world. However, when they were formed in the womb, either intentionally or accidentally, they were not also given the choice which gender to have, much more the questioned in-between one. It is a good thing that when infants were baptized, they did not show any sign of gayness, otherwise they would not have been given the “watery blessing” by discriminating priests!

Gays on the other hand, must understand that failed marriage is expensive, considering the cost in the filing of legal separation and divorce, and with stringent conditions, yet. I gathered that a simple divorce procedure could cost a staggering 300 thousand pesos or more!

I had been advocating for the marriage contract to have a validity period, beyond which the couple can go on their separate ways if they do not want to renew the expired document. Therefore, there is no need for them to file for the expensive divorce. Contract is a legal temporal binding document between or among parties and is never complete without expiration in the form of validity period or conditions as basis for its nullification. So why not put such provision in the civil marriage contract? The Catholic Church seems to have seen this angle, as it has its so-called optional and symbolic “renewal of vows” for couples after living together as husband and wife for years. But none of this kind is being done for the civil marriage.

I know of a woman who lovingly “warned” her bed-ridden husband who could only stare but could not speak due to a series of stroke, not to die yet, until after their diamond wedding anniversary. The woman, herself, told me this story while sounding funny. But for me, the message is clear…perpetuation of love between couples is not dictated by any law, nor written on any piece of document but dwells in the heart, that not even a series of stroke rendering a husband or a wife bed-ridden, can suppress.

For Filipino gays who would like to get married, my suggestion is an expensive jaunt to the United States. I am sure that with the decision of the US Supreme Court, the non-gays will also use this reason to get a US visa, as any US embassy is not supposed to reject such a harmless request which is the latest bold manifestation of freedom for which the country of “big opportunities” is known.

Kung Maging Tapat si Binay sa Pangangampanya…

Kung Maging Tapat si Binay sa Pangangampanya
Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Kung maging tapat lang si Binay sa pangangampanya ay maaari niyang barahin ang kanyang detractors ng mga tanong na:

Ako… korap?
Tamang tanong, dahil lahat naman ng mga pulitiko, kahit papaano ay may bahid nitong katiwalian, kahit hindi sinasadya daw, tulad ng mga sinasabi nilang ang pork barrel nila ay ginamit daw ng mga pekeng NGOs, na hindi naman pinaniniwalaan ng mga tao – na hindi nila alam. Kaya ang mga nag-aakusa sa kanya ay dapat magpalit na ng istratehiya. Umamin na lang sila upang hindi lalong humaba ang ilong nila sa pagsisinungaling!

Ako … may malaking mga project na pinagkitaan ng malaki?
Tama pa ring tanong, dahil ang mga pulitiko ay hindi na nagpa-project kung hindi din lang malaki tulad ng basketball court at mga highway, upang siguradong malaki ang komisyon. Kaya upang sigurado, pati mga kalsada at highway na maaayos pa ay pinapatuklap! Hindi na uso ang poso o deep well pump at waiting shed dahil barya lang kung pagkitaan ito…pero yong kabaong ay okey lang dahil madaling dikitan ng sticker na may pangalan ng mayor or governor, at kung sino pang kapalmuks na opisyal! Ang maganda ding ipamigay ay mga diaper na may mukha ng mga pulitiko lalo na sa bandang puwet! Mahal ang diaper kaya marami ang mag-aapreciate, kasi pwedeng basahan din sa lababo at toilet bowl dahil absorbent!

Ako … nangarap na magkaroon ng asyenda?
Marami na ring pulitiko ang hindi lang nagkaroon ng malawak na lupain, kundi pati mga condo, bahay, mamahaling kotse, at napakalawak at hiwa-hiwalay na logging concessions. At saka isa pa, naiinggit ba yong iba dahil wala silang asyenda na may babuyan na ay may greenhouse pa ng mga orchids? Mabuti nga ang ginawa ni Binay dahil maximized ang paggamit ng asyenda! Pero…dapat pang patunayan na kanya yon. Kaya yong naiinggit, mangurakot din ng milyones upang may pambili!…at tumigil na nga sila sa kangangalngal!

Misis ko… mahilig sa orchids?
Dapat lang ipagtanggol ni Binay ang misis niya dahil siguradong mahal niya ito, hindi tulad noong isang matandang binata na walang misis pero mahilig magparinig na may plano daw naman siyang mag-asawa…kaylan? kung hindi na siya “makwanan”? ….tumigil na nga siya sa pa-machong gimik…kaya pati mga nananahimik na models ay kinakasangkapan sa pakikipag-date kuno! Si Binay ay proud sa kanyang misis, kaya pati ang hilig nito sa pag-alaga ng orchids ay okey sa kanya. Mabait din ito kaya nga maraming gamit na binili para sa Ospital ng Makati…(ano na kaya ang nangyari sa kaso?) Isa pa, mabuti nga at orchids ang inalagaan, kaysa marijuana…eh di mas malaking problema pa ang inabot! Kaya kayong ang kaya lang alagaan ay gumamela, calachuchi, san Francisco, chichirica, five fingers, katuray at malunggay… manigas na lang sa inggit!

Ako lang ba ang matandang nagsusuot ng Boy Scout uniform?
Yan ang matapang na tanong! Dapat ring pangatawanan ni Binay ang pagsuot ng uniform na yan dahil magkatugma ang kanilang kulay – parehong brown, kulay lupa, humble na kulay ng mahirap. At hindi siya nag-iisa sa pagsuot ng uniform na yan dahil may nakita akong nagtitinda ng sigarilyo sa mga tumitigil na jeep sa bandang Harrison St. sa Pasay, na ganyan din ang suot, complete with whistle pa, at very proud siya! Ang kopyang suot ay may maliit pa na bandila ng Red China! …(sa isang interbyu, nagsabi si Binay na ipaubaya na lang sa mga Tsino ang pag-develop sa West Philippine Sea dahil may pera silang panggastos – wow!) Kaya bilib din ako sa taong cigarette vendor na itong proud sa pagsuot ng Boy Scout uniform…dahil siya ay laging handa sa paglapit sa mga driver na bumubusina upang bumili ng yosi na kadiri tulad ng isang taong may maitim na budhi!

Basta matapat lang si Binay sa pangangampanya baka at marami pang baka na manalo siya. At, kapag nasa Malakanyang na siya, siguradong marami ang mamamangha dahil mabubuhay at makikita nila ang mga inakala nilang patay nang mga dummy niya, tulad ni Limlingan at yong babaeng personal secretary niya, si ginang Baloloy. Marami rin ang magwe-wish sa kanya ng: “…good luck, good health, and more wealth!”….para pantulong sa mahihirap – yon ang sabi niya!