The Unconditional Love of Jean

The Unconditional Love of Jean

By Apolinario Villalobos

She’s a young Cebuana, got a pretty face and brains that brought her success in business ventures. But her greatest plus is her heart that can love without condition.

Her fate got tangled with a guy who tried to put together his shattered life after a series of unsuccessful relationships. At the time of their encounter, the guy was at the verge of despair and with his wits almost gone. They struck some kind of mutual understanding that did not dwell on conditions because the guy was honest enough to admit his past relationships with two other women. They were gifted with a beautiful love child whom they pampered with love.

But just like the rest of love stories, theirs was also shrouded with tragedy. The guy did not know that a cancer was developing in his pancreas. Only when he could no longer take the excruciating pain despite the operation of his gall bladder to remove the stones, did he give his consent to undergo a more thorough check up, after which he was told that he got the big “C”, and on its stage 4, yet! The news devastated him emotionally as he was determined to enjoy life more, especially, with the coming of a beautiful daughter.

The heartbreaking news did not deter Jean from loving the guy more, as she knew that, that was the time the guy needed her most. She endured his flare ups, as expected due to his desperate situation. With the help of the guy’s former classmate, she took care of him without a bit of complaint. The guy was brought to the hospital regularly until his physician decided to let him stay at home for good where he would just be visited for check- ups, short of saying that his case was hopeless.

His physical condition was alarmingly deteriorating. At this point, Jean helped him get in touch with his eldest daughter by his first wife, and who did not waste time to be at his father’s bedside. She also brought along her own family. As expected, emotions were poured out as the father and daughter recalled the days when she was just a child growing up in his care while her mother was working abroad. Next to arrive was his daughter by his second wife, and whom the eldest daughter welcomed like a long lost sister. Jean welcomed her, too, as if she was her own daughter.

Jean, the third woman in the guy’s life, stayed on the sideline to give way to the guy’s eldest daughter and the newly-arrived one, as they expressed their gratitude to their long lost father by giving their share of care. Jean could not show how emotionally touched she was because it might affect the guy who was fighting for his life. All she could do was cuddle her daughter far from their sight and cry her heart out.

The eldest daughter worked hard to reconnect her father with her mother and siblings in Baguio. Her “mission”, the almost impossible long distanced reconciliation was made replete with emotion. Through his eldest daughter, the guy also asked forgiveness from those whom he hurt in one way or another. Extreme Unction was given to him…and just before the onset of Christmas 2014, he finally closed his eyes for good.

After the guy’s remains were cremated, it was decided that his ashes would be brought back to his birthplace in central Mindanao. From Cebu, and with a van, Jean and her stepdaughter took an interisland ferry for Mindanao, a grueling travel considering that they had with them a less than three year old girl, and also the eldest daughter’s family consisting of her husband and three children. Upon arriving in the port of Dapitan, Zamboanga del Sur, they undertook the long journey towards the guy’s birthplace in Sultan Kudarat, central Mindanao, in a van that they drove alternately for a long and tedious journey.

On the day of interment, during the Mass, the daughter made a testimony on the sacrifices of Jean, referring to her and her child as her “extended family”. The family and friends of the guy were overwhelmingly touched and Jean was welcomed with warm embrace by them without any “condition”, as well…making her “officially” part of them.

The story of Jean is one about reaping what has been sowed. Her unconditional love to the guy was reciprocated with unconditional love, too, by his family and friends…proof that the parable in the Bible is true and can happen in real life, today.

The guy was my classmate in high school and a close relative. Jean is almost forty and the guy just turned sixty.

Ang Kawalang Disiplina ng Mga Pilipino…isang pangkalahatang pananaw

Ang Kawalang Disiplina ng Mga Pilipino

…isang pangkalahatang pananaw

Ni Apolinario Villalobos

Masarap pakinggan na ang Pilipinas ay bansa ng magagandang babae, ng magagaling sumayaw at kumanta, ng mga islang nagpapaligsahan sa ganda, ng mga taong mapagpaubaya kaya naabuso ng mga tiwaling nakaupo sa gobyerno, at higit sa lahat, ay ng mga Kristiyano sa gitna ng mga bansang may iba’t ibang pananalig. Sa kabila ng mga binanggit, mayroong isang bagay ang nakasira sa impresyong ganda ng bansa, at ito ay kawalan ng disiplina ng mga tao.

Kailangang tanggapin na may negatibong ugali ang Pilipino upang matumbok at mabago. Isang pagkukunwari ang hindi pagtanggap ng ganitong katotohanan, dahil wala namang lahing perpekto sa ibabaw ng mundo. Ang mga sumusunod ay ilan lamang sa mga paraang pagpapakita ng kawalan ng disiplina ng Pilipino:

1. Pagtapon ng basura. Kahit paulit-ulit sa pagbigay ang pamahalaang lokal kung paano itapon ang basura tulad ng paghintay ng tamang oras na pagdampot ng mga trak-basura at kung saan dapat dalhin ang dapat din sanang maayos na pagkalagay sa supot-basura, marami pa rin ang basta na lang nagtatapon nito kahit saan. Wala rin silang pakialam kung ang basurang basa at nanlilimahid ay nakalagay sa supot na papel, at wala ring pakialam kung ito ay nangangamoy at basta na lang iniiwan sa tabi ng kalsada kaya kinakalkal ng aso at pusa. Pagkatapos ng mga okasyon, lalong nakikita ang kawalan ng disiplina ng Pilipino. Ga-bundok na basura ang basta na lang iniiwan sa pinagdausan. At ang pinakamatindi ay ang walang pakundangang pagtapon ng basura sa mga ilog, sapa, at tabing-dagat. May alam pa akong naglalagay sa labas ng gate ng kapitbahay!

 

1. Pagtawid ng Kalsada. Upang maging ligtas ang mga tumatawid ay naglalagay ang pamahalaan ng mga “fly-over” o tawiran na pangtao, subalit marami pa rin ang pinipiling mag-“jay walking” at kung masagasaan, sinisisi pa ang driver ng sasakyang nakasagasa. Ang iba, dinadahilan na malayo ang mga “fly-over” sa pupuntahan nila sa kabila ng kalsada. Ang gusto yata ng mga hangal na taong ito ay sa tapat ng bahay nila mismo ilagay ang tawiran!

 

1. Pagkain para sa maayos na kalusugan. Kahit marami nang nakikitang pruweba na talagang delikado ang kumain ng matataba ay hindi ito pansin ng Pilipino. Hinihintay na may mangyari sa kanya bago magbago ng ugali saka pa lang magugulat dahil mahal “pala” ang gamot laban sa cholesterol, high blood, diabetes, atbp., at mahal din “pala” ang magpakonsulta sa doktor at pagpapa-ospital!…puro, nasa bandang huli ang pagkakaalam na mali pala ang ginawa, kung kelan ay naparalisa na dahil sa heart attack, o di kaya ay nakaratay na, o di kaya ay hihiwain na ang tiyan upang tanggalin ang bukol sa bituka! Ang tawag dito ay kaungasan!

 

1. Pag-abuso ng katawan at trabaho. Masayahin ang Pilipino. Kung may pera, takbo agad sa videoke-han, restaurant, o beerhouse, upang magsaya – uminom ng alak at kumanta, magpuyat, na ang kasabay ay paninigarilyo. Ang iba, pambili na lang bigas o gatas ng anak ay ibinibili pa ng ilang boteng beer o di kaya ay isang kaha ng sigarilyo. Ang mayayabang, kahit may pasok kinabukasan ay todo pa rin sa pagpuyat, kesehodang mabigyan ng memo dahil nangangamoy- alak sa pagpasok, o di kaya ay dahil lumiban, o di kaya ay dahil late sa pagpasok! Kung matanggal sa trabaho at nagutom ang pamilya, sisisihin ang gobyerno! Ang tawag dito ay katangahan!

 

1. Sa paggastos. Sa kayabangan ng Pilipino, palagi siyang sumusunod sa uso, kaya sunod din sa kaakibat na gastos. Kung anong cellphone ang uso, bili agad kahit inutang pa at babayaran sa loob ng anim na buwan. Kapag na-snatch ang cellphone, halos nagunawan na ng mundo! Dahil gustong magpa-impress, kahit nakatira lang sa isang maliit na apartment na walang garahe, kukuha ng kotseng hulugan, ganoong halos habulin ang bayarin sa kuryente at apartment. Kapag nakuritan ng tansan ang kotse, magngangawa na halos namatayan! Gustong ipakita sa kapitbahay na sa mall namimili ng pang-ulam at hindi sa talipapa, kaya nangangalahati pa lang ang nabayaran sa credit card ay uutang na naman!…kaya walang katapusan ang utang!

 

1. Sa ugaling pagsinop. Sa kayabangan ng Pilipino na animo ay hindi nakadanas ng gutom, hindi na nawalan ng itatapong pagkain. Gusto yatang ipakita sa kapitbahay na ang kanyang basurahan ay palaging puno ng tirang pagkain at nalantang gulay – na kaya niyang itapon. At, dahil nakikita rin ng mga anak ang kawalang konsiyensang ugaling ito, pati sila ay gumagaya kaya nagiging maaksaya habang lumulaki. Bandang huli, kapag nakitang burara ang anak, magtataka pa kung bakit ganoon ang ugali! Sa paggamit ng kuryente, animo ay may-ari ng power plant, dahil kahit walang nanonood, ang TV ay bukas, ang mga ilaw kung patayin ay tanghali na, at ang plantsa ay hinahayaang mag-overheat!

1. Sa trabaho. Sa simula ay masipag, maagang pumasok, subalit kalaunan, ay nagkakaroon na ng Monday at Friday sickness – absent kung Lunes o Biyernes. Dinadaya ang paggamit ng break periods, lalo na sa tanghali, na kung kaylan ala-una na ay saka pa lang pupunta sa rest room upang mag-toothbrush o mag-ayos ng sarili, kaya pagbalik sa puwesto ay halos alas-dos na! Kung sisitahin ng boss, galit pa…slave driver daw!

 

Araw-araw tayong nangangailangan ng maayos na buhay, kaya dapat ay araw-araw din tayong magsikap upang magkaroon nito…hindi tuwing sasapit ang bagong taon kung kaylan ay gagawa pa ng New Year’s resolution upang maging batayan. Hindi nabibili ang disiplina. Ito ay walang katumbas na halaga ng salapi. Bahagi na ito ng ating pagkatao na nasa isang sulok lang ng ating diwa at kailangan lang sungkitin upang mailabas. At, tandaan din nating NASA HULI PALAGI ANG PAGSISISI!…kaya ang tanong ay kaylan natin gagawin ito?